Calling to Sabah

*drum rolls* I'M GOING TO SABAH!!!!

This is an official announcement and indeed the most surprising cum exciting point of my life. I am becoming what I imagined myself to be since I was in my uni years. It was a place God has impressed upon my heart to serve in, which was never really confirmed.

After I graduated, I kinda left this 'dream' behind. I did research, sales, etc... But I never truly see myself long term in any of that (probably due to my young adventurous heart). Most of all, I never imagine myself going so far away from home. KL-Seremban is only 1 hour drive away! Yes, I did go to Sabah (KK) for holidays twice, but I never imagine that I will really go work there.

Since Jan till now, I have been led to do adventurous things and indeed it was a glimpse of what the rest of the year would be like. I have started the year doing things which I've never done before. eg. Watching sunrise and sunsets, water-rafting where the boat capsized and I fell deep into the river, leaping from the tree top, flying fox, rock-climbing, para-sailing, hiking 45 minutes to have beach picnic, sun-burnt to the max, hiking 35 minutes for waterfall experience, survived leeches! and oh, the latest.... I drove a manual car after 8 years. So, I do foresee myself doing things which I've never done before... either voluntarily or desperately.

The biggest adventure would be this: Going to Sabah to work as a community nutritionist, not knowing which district I'll be placed in, with no shelter and no transport.

The 1st questions I've been posed are;
Is this what you want?
Oh NO, so far....
Why work for government? You can do better elsewhere.
Are you really going?

Yes! I am really going! A very dear friend of mine said, "Your heart has always been with Borneo." Is that so? Hmm....I'm not quite sure of that. I've been to mission trips to Sarawak. I almost wanted to apply for Sarawak (if it wasnt because of a certain incident which changed my mind). But, God has his ways of doing things, he reminded me of His soft little calling/nudging of me to go to Sabah last time. And ta-da! Here I am!

What is awaiting me there? I dunno. What am I going to do? I dunno. Where will I be? What will I be doing during my free time? What are my expectations? What church am I going to? Which district I want to be in?

Why Sabah? I DUNNO! I just know that I have to be there.

Its a calling I've been expecting. Its a calling I have to answer.

I still dunno how God led me to make this decision to apply for Sabah and go for it. I left my job which I grew to love, my ministry which I am loving, and my friends which I will deeply miss. I'm leaving behind the life which I've built. Everything will have to start from scratch. My career, my ministry, friendships, social life ...etc. I'm leaving my family (something which I've never done) Till a point, I do wonder at times if this is what I want or what God wants (Since I really didnt hear it from His audible voice saying GO TO SABAH). Am I being plain selfish?

I've always believed and imagined that God has a magnet with Him. If we do go astray from His ways, He will surely work His way in bringing us back to His ways (if we let Him to). Journeying with God only gets more exciting when we make decisions to follow Him and trust Him alone. Its vague, I know. Its always easier to trust ourselves. I think I'm addicted to challenging myself to do something which I thought I couldnt do (of course with much wisdom). Its at that point of desperation that we are brought to another level of faith.

I am preparing myself to go. It has been a season of letting go. I have learnt persistence/holding on and now I am learning to let go. At times, the letting go is more difficult than the holding on.

Sabah awaits.....