kimberlywyy

A day of DEATH

2011-12-20T20:44:00.004+08:00

Today is a day of Death.

It began as early as 3am. A pregnant mother suddenly developed a heartache and couldn't breathe with no medical history. She passed away.

And then at 10am, a young boy of 19 years of age, suffered from psychology problem, wanted to fly. He found his way to a 4th floor, and jumped down, with a big crowd of 30ish watching him downstairs telling him not to jump. He jumped anyway. And died. His own mother was one of those who witnessed and pleaded.

Then at 3pm, a tourist bus carrying 40 Bruneians crashed into a tree and overturned. Six people died.

All died with no inkling that they would. All died with no hopes of being saved. A sudden death. An accidental suicide. A careless accident.

Perhaps today, we learn about death. That death is inevitable. That death doesn't gives you warning. That death makes us think about life even more.

=(

2011-10-13T13:31:00.003+08:00

1. Do no harm
2. Comfort always
3. Live with no regrets

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Kota Marudu

2011-10-02T11:17:00.011+08:00

I have not introduced my beloved housemates in Kota Marudu. They are Vanessa (pharmacist)and Chek Wai Yee (preschool teacher). They may not know this, but they are God's answered prayer to me. when I found out that they will be staying with me, although for them it wasn't a very happy event (as they literally got chased out of their old house), but for me, I was leaping in joy. Our best times together as housemates, were to cook and have dinner together, and then watch drama together and discuss about it. They are like family to me, and indeed for a person who didn't have any sisters, they are my very good sisters, who picks up after me, who takes care of me when I'm sick, who tells me what to do at times, who understands both my silence and my exuberance, and one whom I don't mind going home to everyday after work.

Vanessa recently got her desired transfer. She'll be leaving us soon. People come and people go. I am happy for Vanessa because she got what she wanted. Indeed all good things comes to those who waits. Chek also requested for a transfer and if she gets it, she'll be leaving by end of this year. Hence, with a heavy heart, I had to watch them leave me.

At times like this, I think of when will I leave Kota Marudu? How long will I be here? Where to go after this? And somehow I know that the time has not come for me to leave.

For the past few months, I have been very busy at work. There were so many events to organize, so many tasks to be done. But, the joy of seeing it being done, is indeed very satisfying. Past few months, I went up on a helicopter into the interior village, I tracked more than started a health program in school, helping more patients in losing weight, organize an event in a kindergarten, and many more. Honestly, after doing so much, I'm tired. Restrospectively, its all worth it.

Going on the helicopter.

A small girl I played with in the village.

Giving nutrition talk to the villagers,

Public cooking demonstration.

Teaching the kids about food pyramid.

Seeing my co-designed banner in public where everyone who enters Kota Marudu could see.

And seeing the kids whom we trained, wearing the vest which I designed.

FUH!

So, what's next for Kota Marudu? We'll see.... "

The lesson in waiting

2011-02-17T07:42:00.004+08:00

Ever wondered when you read psalms and its filled with the word "Wait"? It must be a very important thing to do for it to appear so many times in the bible,eh.

I have had experienced waiting so much that I actually thought I could skip it and not do it anymore. But, life itself is filled with waiting. We wait for our turn, we wait for people, we wait for something to happen. Most importantly, we have to wait upon God. Why do we have to wait for God? Is God always slow? I guess not. I guess, we are just anxious humans. We always can't wait.

I once told a friend whom I've always waited, "Nope, I can't wait anymore. I have banned wait from my vocabulary. As much as possible, I do not want to wait." But, now I realize how wrong I could have been. Waiting is a crucial process. When we wait, things happen. Waiting is not a passive action. In fact, it is an active action. In waiting, we learn things which we would not learn otherwise. We learn patience, we learn trust, we learn perseverance, we learn hope, we learn wisdom and most importantly, it nourishes our faith. And to realize that all these precious lessons could be forfeited by anxiousness.

Indeed, waiting is a fertile ground of actions. Just as a farmer waits for harvest, which may or may not happen depending on the weather, we wait. In hope.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Hey

2011-02-09T22:49:00.003+08:00

I was reminded by a good friend that I haven't been updating about my life here. He said to me, "Last I know about you, you were stuck in decisions." I didn't realize how long I have not been blogging until then. Thanks Richard. ;)

Well, since my last post on 'making Decisions' in September 2010, life has pretty much been NORMAL. I guess at one point, life just feels like its running on its own. And it feels like as if we are more like a follower of life, rather than the one leading and living it. Being a life-enthusiast myself, I have chosen to come to Sabah and its close to one year that I've been here. Looking back, I am truly amazed at how God's grace, mercy, kindness & faithfulness has brought me to where I am now.

For the past one year, indeed it totally feels like I'm not in control of my life. Many times, I am a culprit of thinking one, and doing another. I am guilty of doing certain things which would I know would harm myself and yet still doing it for the sheer of a momentary fun. But, isn't life's like that? We test, we try, we fall, we get up. My lecturer/supervisor told me once, "Life may be a pain at times, but once we get through it, you'll find life worth living.". So true, so true, aint it? So right now, I'm just trying to go through the rightful momentary 'pain', for the goal of a better life ahead.

Yesterday, I have received a very good news. I havent been this excited about anything, especially about anyone's pregnancy for a very long time. My very good friend is PREGNANT!. Having working in a maternal and child clinic, I see pregnant mothers and babies everyday. But this...its an undescriable feeling. I'm going to be a "godmother"!. :)

This is gonna be a truly truly good year. TRULY.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Making decisions

2010-09-25T12:22:00.004+08:00

Each time a decision has to be made, I asked myself these questions,

If Jesus is really coming back in 2012, wat would I be found doing?

Will I regret doing it or not doing it?

What would I like to do before I go to heaven?

What would I had done which I would be happy to tell Jesus when I meet him?

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Sukau experience

2010-09-22T13:50:00.004+08:00

Went to Kg Sukau at Kinabatangan for a 2 days medical camp. Left early morning 7.30am on Thursday and only reached at 5.00pm. Its a medical mission sponsored by BEST Society of Borneo EcoTours. It was my 4th medical camp this year.

1. I adviced many villagers on diet control who had just detected HPT and DM.
2. Went for a home visit of a spastic child who hasn't been eating well for a year because he kept having reflux. So, I taught the mother how to do liquid diet.
3. Manage to advice an unclinic pregnant mother who had low Hb and know nothing about aneamia.
4. River cruises at 3 different time of the day, seeing different kinds of animals.
5. Staying with the villagers and notice the way they eat & live.
6. Got to know more new friends who thinks I might be having mania just because I'm enthusiastic most of the time. When I'm quiet, they think I'm sick.
7. On Sunday, I was drop dead tired... seriously.

The burden that made me

2010-09-14T12:23:00.004+08:00

I feel like my responsibility in Kota Marudu is really huge. Difference of working at the city and the small district is, you suddenly feel like you're responsible of everything. In the city, sometimes you're just doing what others tell you to. Now at Kota Marudu, with my Matron Mariana as my motivator cum inspirer cum supporter cum promoter, with her looking so highly on me, I do feel the pressure. A good kind of pressure. "Doktor tu bukan Pegawai Zat Makanan. Kamu patut pergi jumpa Pegawai Zat Makanan!" She told her stubborn staff who has gout.

"You're very important, Kimberly. You're doing primary care. So many people come to hospital already half dead and nothing much can be done anymore. Everyone sees hospital as the saviour. But, primary care is even more important. Diseases need to be prevented and controlled before they become worst beyond repair." A friend recently told me.

Everyone looked to me as the only one here with the RIGHT knowledge on diet and nutrition. Whatever I said I need for my job, they provide for me. I suddenly feel such huge burden on myself. Not the one coming from above. But the one coming from the silent cries of people.

People say in a district, you can do alot or do very little, yet no one would know. As a government servant, your pay remains the same. And besides, my boss is not with me in the same district to take notice. No one would know. Well, it all really boils down to whom you are working for. For your boss? For yourself? For the people? Or for the one and only... God Almighty.

Gosh, I really hope that I won't lose this passion. Till I finishes what He has prepared me to do.

I do not pray that the burden be lifted. But, that the burden be shared. It is those burden that drives someone to do something. It is the burden that made someone who they are. The burden that turns into a passion. That without it, a person dies inwardly. And a passion has to be followed by action.

For just as without action, faith is dead. Without action, passion either dies, or burns within. I liken passion to a seed which God planted in his beloved children. A seed has to be cultivated. If it is kept, it would go to waste. Sometimes, it get lost or stolen away, and sometimes forgotten.

But, if it is planted in the right ground at the right time, it will grow. And when it grows, it bears fruit and blesses everyone who came in contact with it.

=)

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

I'm a community nutritionist and I like it!

2010-09-11T13:05:00.003+08:00

"Mom, I love my job here." I said after she starts telling me about someone who said that there are opportunities of a greater prospect job back in Peninsular. To my parents, greater prospect means more money, more fame, more money..... To a certain aspect, it could be true, but I'm not comfortable with the idea.

Yes, I admit of being rather depressed of being so far from my family and friends, and I wish I could be closer, but I seriously love my job here. I SERIOUSLY do! Like Junling once said "This if finally you. You're born for this job. I can only imagine you to be doing this. Not everyone are paid for doing what they like."

So, what do I do in Kota Marudu as a community nutritionist which I love so much?

1) Meeting clients referred by doctors and advising them on right way of eating which they have no exposure on before. They only hear from their kampung friends which are not correct. Instead of improving, their condition got worst. (I prefer to call them My Patients)

2) Making sure all the kids under 5 are not severely underweight as it would stunt their growth. Those who are, they are under my food basket program, and I try to visit them periodically. (I prefer to call them My Kids and I currently have 100.)

3) Giving talks on nutrition to village folks and school children who may never have heard one before, or whom may have been cheated.

4) Going for medical camps in the interior to show the people that we care.

5) Despite the high thalassemic cases in Kota Marudu, I hope that the anemic situation in Kota Marudu will be better. And it is improving. There are lesser anemic pregnant mothers now.

6) Advocating the Baby-Friendly Clinics and Hospital to encourage all mothers to breastfeed without interference and distraction. Breastfeeding is important especially at places where cleanliness is a matter of concern.

7) Organizing programs, enduring all health data are correct, training and educating on nutrition.

8) Going to schools, to clinics, to villages and everyone of it seems like an adventure to me.

So, That's my job! And more....

I find pleasure in doing all of it! Although there are some lazy days but at the end of the day, I am fulfilled in doing it. All this, money can't buy. Yes, I'm not very fillial for not providing well for my family, but... God has promised me to take care of them while I come here to fulfil the mission He has obviously called me and prepared me to.

So? Richness which money can't buyVSRichness = money ???

Mothers showing me how they prepare food for their child

My office is at 3rd floor. ;)

So, the question of why did God send me to Sabah? Or Why I apply to come to Sabah? How I end up coming to Sabah? Is it really God? Or is just me? WHY SABAH? Till today I don't know. I guess I might never know. Maybe a bit of both. I prefer to call this stage of my life as me fulfilling 'My Mission'. It was by faith that I come. A mission which has no end date. Perhaps 3 years, perhaps 5 years, perhaps forever.... who knows?

"I think you have the gift of faith." said Vijia. "Not everyone will leave all they have to come to a faraway place with no idea of where Kota Marudu is, no shelter, and no transport, no family and friends." Well, that's how Vijia became one of my very first 'dependants' and now a very good friend.

Simon once said "I'm envious of you. You get to do what you like." I guess, he might be right after all.

So, mom, dad, Jon, I love you guys very much. But, forgive me for loving my mission more. It happen to be a call I had to answer. If only God will bring Sabah closer.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Being in Kota Marudu

2010-09-02T12:40:00.004+08:00

I really thank God for HIs favor upon me. I thank God for my KKIA Kota Marudu matron! With her around, no problems seems too big. I could just go to her anytime and she have the solution. Plus, she is so helpful. I can't start counting the times she has helped me in my work. Whatever I want to do, she will support me and help me realize it. I'm really thankful for her. Thank you God.

There are so many things to do in Kota Marudu. Ever since I come back from my short break, there's this influx of ideas and programs and reports which I have to do. Seriously, SO MANY. I think I'm just going a bit crazy. I wonder what would I be doing this time next year? Last year I was at DPO travelling around doing sales.

What about next year?

Will I still be unattached?

Oh, btw, my matron is Marianna Chin, a Dusun-Chinese who doesnt speak Chinese, but married a Chinese, and who also happen to be my few doors away neighbour. ;)

One of those talks which I gave. ;)

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Home is where the heart is

2010-05-15T12:21:00.002+08:00

In a blink of eye, its been more than 1 month that I'm here in Sabah. Its unbelievable. A place which I've never plan nor think about, except in my wildest dream. Thanks to facebook and telephone, it feels like I never really left home in KL/Seremban. No doubt, I am really starting anew. New friends, new home, new habits, new car, new responsibilities, new environment, new food, new character.

Being human, I want to settle down and find a home. I would very much like to pitch a tent and if possible, make that tent as my home. Sabah is a beautiful place to be and I dont mind setting up my home here. I am slowly falling in love at this place. The sea, the hills and the sky... never fails to captivate me each time.

But, home is where the heart is. Where should the heart of a servant be? I came to Sabah as a servant, humbled and led by God to this place. Where the Lord leads, I will go. May my heart always be seeking after God's will. May my heart always be submissive to Him. Oh, my precious heart. So, where is my home? My home is where the Lord is. The earth (wherever it is) is only my temporary home. My permanent home is where the throne of God is, where I would worship Him forever and ever.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Calling to Sabah

2010-03-10T17:47:00.005+08:00

*drum rolls* I'M GOING TO SABAH!!!!

This is an official announcement and indeed the most surprising cum exciting point of my life. I am becoming what I imagined myself to be since I was in my uni years. It was a place God has impressed upon my heart to serve in, which was never really confirmed.

After I graduated, I kinda left this 'dream' behind. I did research, sales, etc... But I never truly see myself long term in any of that (probably due to my young adventurous heart). Most of all, I never imagine myself going so far away from home. KL-Seremban is only 1 hour drive away! Yes, I did go to Sabah (KK) for holidays twice, but I never imagine that I will really go work there.

Since Jan till now, I have been led to do adventurous things and indeed it was a glimpse of what the rest of the year would be like. I have started the year doing things which I've never done before. eg. Watching sunrise and sunsets, water-rafting where the boat capsized and I fell deep into the river, leaping from the tree top, flying fox, rock-climbing, para-sailing, hiking 45 minutes to have beach picnic, sun-burnt to the max, hiking 35 minutes for waterfall experience, survived leeches! and oh, the latest.... I drove a manual car after 8 years. So, I do foresee myself doing things which I've never done before... either voluntarily or desperately.

The biggest adventure would be this: Going to Sabah to work as a community nutritionist, not knowing which district I'll be placed in, with no shelter and no transport.

The 1st questions I've been posed are;
Is this what you want?
Oh NO, so far....
Why work for government? You can do better elsewhere.
Are you really going?

Yes! I am really going! A very dear friend of mine said, "Your heart has always been with Borneo." Is that so? Hmm....I'm not quite sure of that. I've been to mission trips to Sarawak. I almost wanted to apply for Sarawak (if it wasnt because of a certain incident which changed my mind). But, God has his ways of doing things, he reminded me of His soft little calling/nudging of me to go to Sabah last time. And ta-da! Here I am!

What is awaiting me there? I dunno. What am I going to do? I dunno. Where will I be? What will I be doing during my free time? What are my expectations? What church am I going to? Which district I want to be in?

Why Sabah? I DUNNO! I just know that I have to be there.

Its a calling I've been expecting. Its a calling I have to answer.

I still dunno how God led me to make this decision to apply for Sabah and go for it. I left my job which I grew to love, my ministry which I am loving, and my friends which I will deeply miss. I'm leaving behind the life which I've built. Everything will have to start from scratch. My career, my ministry, friendships, social life ...etc. I'm leaving my family (something which I've never done) Till a point, I do wonder at times if this is what I want or what God wants (Since I really didnt hear it from His audible voice saying GO TO SABAH). Am I being plain selfish?

I've always believed and imagined that God has a magnet with Him. If we do go astray from His ways, He will surely work His way in bringing us back to His ways (if we let Him to). Journeying with God only gets more exciting when we make decisions to follow Him and trust Him alone. Its vague, I know. Its always easier to trust ourselves. I think I'm addicted to challenging myself to do something which I thought I couldnt do (of course with much wisdom). Its at that point of desperation that we are brought to another level of faith.

I am preparing myself to go. It has been a season of letting go. I have learnt persistence/holding on and now I am learning to let go. At times, the letting go is more difficult than the holding on.

Sabah awaits.....

Beautiful pain

2010-02-27T23:21:00.003+08:00

A very big thanks to my dearest friend of profound thoughts. Your beautiful poem was therapeutic to my soul. I'm so thankful that I have found a friend like you.

Bleeding, every part.
Where all his words and promises drips away like drops of blood,
Memories of him slowly sets like the sun,
Leaving me with empty hopes,
And his silence to bear.

I am no special person,
I desire to fall in love, Just like every woman.
Letting my defense down, so he could come,
Take his words and believe in them,
Burn my lips, and think of him.

I often wonder why was I so persistent.
Have I tricked myself,
got caught in the string of my own web of emotions?
But then, it was a decision.
Which I did not regret.
Neither did I understand why,
Perhaps thats how love is,
No reason.

I do not blame him,
Not now, not before, not ever,
In love, no one is to be blamed,
Its all part of a bigger plan,
Before I meet my one true love.

Hey, I didnt lose.
I have friends who brought me to the Healer's arms.
Who reminded me that pain can be beautiful.
Thank you for that glimpse of love,
I have given it for God's glory,
Where pain can truly, Be beautiful.

May God bless all the women reading this. If you have not known hurt, you have not known love.

Sabah trip

2010-01-23T13:27:00.009+08:00

I have yet to blog about this awesome trip that I made to Sabah end of last year, and I spent my new year there. Purpose of this trip, besides it being a holiday, is also to spend time with my faraway good friends, and to visit the small towns there. And its amazing how many towns I visited in such short 6 days.

On the day I arrived in KK, I went straight to Lawas (a small town right after the border of Sarawak). Meaning I travelled from KK-Papar-...many many others...-Sipitang-Lawas. And I had a good time staying at Sarah's house in her kampung and spending time with her family especially her small sister. I especially like the sound of chickens in the morning. We went to play in the river, and I had fun entertaining the surprise Christmas visit from the kampung kids at 10.30pm.

After spending 24 hours in Lawas, we went back to KK and had seafood for dinner at Gayang with Chernnie and Vick. Indeed the most delicious lobster I've ever eaten. Yeah, forgot even to snap a pic. We spent the night in Papar.

The next day, I went to Kudat for a day trip. We left early morning. This trip to Kudat passes through many small towns as well. We visited the Honey Bee Farm, Tempat buat Gong, and Rungus longhouse before we went to Simpang Mengayau to watch sunset. I would say it was the most perfect sunset I've ever seen in my life. Because right after the sun sets, the rain came! And the most perfect rainbow appeared. It was a FULL rainbow. How often do anyone see a full rainbow? I dont even know a full rainbow exist before this! The whole scene was just breath-taking and picturesque.

The next day, I went to Manukan. For a Sabahan, its nothing. But, for me and Sarah, It was a memorable day because we did PARA-SAILING!!! The 15 minutes spent up there was preciously unforgetable. It was 31st Dec.

That night, we went to have dinner at Little Italy and then head on to Tanjung Aru for countdown. It was not a hyper super meriah event, but I was just glad that I close and start my year with my good friends - Sarah & Vick. (I remembered last year, I spent it with Richard, Mark and NgeeYing. This year, all 4 of us were at different places.)

The next day was indeed the best day of the year (1st Jan '10) because I went water-rafting at Padas! The trip there also brought me across many small towns (Tenom, Beaufort...etc.). And the experience of water-rafting is just too great to be pen into words. I love it to the core. I was given the priviledge to sit in front of the boat and feel the rush of the river current splashing at me. =) So cool... When the bost we were in capsized, and all I could do was holding on to my life jacket and believe that I will float and be fine. This experience reminds me that my God is like the life jacket. When life seems rough and I fall, I just have to hold on and believe that I will float. I'll be fine. Thank you, Lord.

That night, tiring as we were, we had dinner with Aunty Betty which she invited us to her house and have whisky. It was crazy. But, I do like sitting and talking to her. And she still have the picture of me and Junling at her shelf. =) Next year, if possible, I want to spend my new year with her again. Hopefully Junling will be with me.

All in all, I have had the most fulfilling trip ever. Coming back alone, I was accompanied by an old couple from US. They write Christian books and go round teaching His word. So old. He is more than 80 years old and she's about there too. Makes me think what would I be doing when I'm 80? Hopefully I will still have the strength to do God's work at that time.

Btw: My chinese name (y'ng) means SOLID. hehe.... Reminds me of Peter whose name means Solid Rock. hahaha... me? yuin = garden. You go figure!

Junling's wedding

2010-01-18T00:20:00.005+08:00

14th, 22nd November 2009

Last November, my dearest Jie got married and I was blessed enough to be her bridesmaid. She's a typical Melancholy who is both talented and detailed. Her rationalism keeps me sane most of the time. I remember walking down the aisle before her, and the feeling was indescriable. I remember standing beside her, listening to James saying his marriage vows to her. I began to flash back all those nights spent in her room and we will be talking about her relationship with James. Now, I'm 'bringing' her to him. She's finally getting married to her beloved man!

Being a perfectionist, she had wanted things to be perfect. She wanted a beach wedding. She wanted outdoor pictures. But, most of all, she wanted people who come to be happy for her. I've never seen a more beautiful bride than my dearest Ah Jie!

Thanks Jie for letting me share your glorious day. You light up my life too!

Hope

2010-01-17T00:39:00.004+08:00

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Hope precedes faith. Faith comes when we place our hope in God and believe that He will do it. It is important to know what we specifically hope for.

Hebrews 11.1: Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

This word was given to me today. There are indeed many things in my heart. So many things which I want to do. Have I stopped hoping? Or have I place my hope in things other than God Himself? Or I have refrained myself from hoping because I was afraid of disappointments? Recently, I have felt like running away. My commitments are overwelming me. My dreams are fading away. My achievements = zero. I am gradually losing myself.

Psalms 42.5: Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my saviour and my God.

Isaiah 40:30-31: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Let this new year be a year of hope for me. Let this year be a year where I place my hope in no other than God Himself. Let me begin this year by hoping. Because God has promised that those who hope in Him will not grow weary.

Romans 8:24-25: Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

God has a reputation to keep

2010-01-16T11:38:00.003+08:00

Isaiah 48: 10-11
See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.

Everything that God has done, he did it for His name sake. Why do we worry that we have to protect His name? Who are we to do so? God will do whatever He wants to do. We get angry and sad about the seemingly irrational decisions which befalls upon us. We get angry and sad that we are seemingly being buillied to the core. We get angry and sad that we cant do anything except to pray and forgive. We have been provoked but why did we not fight?

It is not because we are afraid. It is not because we are weak. It is because we know that God is in control. We know that our God is strong and mighty. We know that this is not our business. It is His business. It is His reputation to keep. If God lets it happen, who are we to fight for Him? We will just be like Peter which Jesus rebuked and said "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me. You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men" (Matt16:23)

we do not know why this happen. We do not know what God is doing. But, we know that God knows what He's doing.

This is His reputation. He will keep.

Saman-lah

2009-11-19T21:45:00.002+08:00

Today is one day which I will remember for the rest of my life.

I was on the phone while driving when unfortunately, police came from behind and ask me to pull over. This is the 1st time I'm being stopped by a policeman. He asked me for my car license and I gave it to him while he took out his notes and start scribbling. I was just keeping quiet while looking around me.

Then, he said: Cik, mau kena saman ker?
I looked at him and said softly: Samanlah, samanlah.
police: Betul mau saman? saya belum tulis lagi ni.
Me: Apa kamu mau?
Police: Saya tak aper nya. Suka kamu lah nak bagi masuk poket.
Me: (paused for 2 seconds) Samanlah, samanlah.
Police gave me back my lisence and said: Saya puji cik. Sekarang, pandu betul-betul.

I drove on, feeling proud of myself.

It was a split decision. To realize that I was so close to paying him off, and suddenly I was reminded of Kok How's experience of not giving in. And that gave me the courage of saying "Samanlah".

I will remember this for the rest of my life.

The desert song

2009-10-31T22:46:00.002+08:00

This song reminds me that God is indeed a wonderful God. He reminds me that I am being filled in order to be emptied again. And again. And again. This song, is my prayer.

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've received I will sow

What will Jesus find me doing?

2009-10-13T21:19:00.003+08:00

If Jesus is coming back on the 2012, what will He find me doing?

Will he find me in the mission field?
Or find me sharing to my friend and relatives about His love.
Or spending time with my family.
Or lazing around on my bed.
Or working hard for my ambition.
Or trying to figure out what His purpose for my life is.
Or still living in doubts.
Or losing my faith.
Or choosing the world and myself over Him.
Or still finding myself.
Or living a prayerless life.
Or living in a defeated life.
.........
Or will I be found worshiping Him,
dwelling in His love all day,
living a life of victory,
blessing people around me,
cooking for my friends and family,
feeding the poor,
all for Him and Him alone.

Maybe one day

2009-08-19T21:51:00.003+08:00

Today I went to meet a 70 year old customer. He is a very interesting man. Being the owner of a reputable company, he has got so much of valuable experience behind him. He is proud of his inventions and has indeed contributed much in the food industry. Talking to him made me realize how I love spending time and talking to old people. They have so much of stories to tell and so much insights. He is 70 but the way he talks like as if he is only 50. He said "Maybe one day when I'm tired of doing this, I will do other things". Wow,such energy.

Maybe one day, when I'm tired of going around meeting different people, or when I've grown weary in the food industry, or when I'm ready to embark on a new journey, but definitely when I'm certain that God says "It is enough".

Then, I will be doing other things.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

The day that me and my car was sick

2009-08-07T14:38:00.005+08:00

There seems to be a problem with my car, so I took it to check at the Perodua service centre. I paid rm60 for it only to have the man came back to me and said "We cannot detect anything wrong with your car". And my car is still .... un'treated'.

I had flu and went to see a doctor to get medicine and MC. While at the clinic, I came across an article about a Bidayuh village in interior Sarawak. And my thoughts went back to the time I went to 'STOMP' in Pantu, Sarawak in May2009. I miss...

1. The 2 hours boatride under hot scorching sun into the longhouse
2. The 'berandau'ing session at the longhouse where all the villagers come and eat together with us,
3. Playing with the children, running around, singing songs with them
4. Holding 'kingkong's hands and running in the longhouse from one end to another
5. Feeding Kingkong and watching him eat. (Kingkong is the nickname of a 3 yr old boy)
6. Playing with Robertson, the 2 year old boy
7. The inik who hugged me tightly and cried, saying that I look like her granddaughter who hasnt been back for a long time.
8. Being awaken each morning before 6am by the cocks crowing, and listening to the cocks competing with each other to see who is loudest.
9. Cooking and washing dishes in the dark
10. Bathing in the river

Ohgosh, I miss Pantu. Dearly. And I definitely miss the chickens who made me smile each morning.

The view in Pantu at 6am

Villagers at Enchiap

# I am forgetting things very easily these days. Big or small. Important or less important. I just hope that I do not ever forget the goodness of God.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

URGH!

2009-07-27T21:23:00.003+08:00

There are a few things which I dont understand
1. How can a Malaysian not know who Yasmin Ahmad is???
2. Why does any guy leave his thumb and last fingernail long? Its disgusting, really.
3. How can anyone live each day only thinking about money? $$$$ Are there anymore purpose to life???
4. How can anyone live each day scheaming and cheating? Why cant they live the truth???
5. Why anyone can be so cruel and selfish and self-absorbed?????

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Updates on my Recents

2008-11-23T01:55:00.011+08:00

I think I have been living in solitude for some time. This 2 days of meeting up with friends have made me realize that I should start making some meaningful contacts with people. After all, this world is really not about I, me, myself. There are a lot of people out there whom are worth getting to know. Yes, my thesis is important. But, relationship with people are equally important as well. I apologize to my friends whom I have neglected all this while due to my selfishness.

Some updates on my recent activities.

My best friend from teenage years - Yvonne got married. Went to attend her wedding in Melaka.

I went to Phuket and PhiPhi Island for a short escapade of 4 days. And this is my favourite picture.

It was a friends gathering at Nalaayeni's house during Deepavali. Cant believe how dark and tanned I got after my Phuket trip.

I made a poster of my research and presented it at a clinical research conference.

My office organized a visit to the children's home in Chow Kit. I was teaching the kids on the food pyramid and guess what, they are even smarter than an average adult. I found this out when I went to Klang to interview some patients on their eating habits. All of them actually knew very little about nutrition. Which I have to teach them from the very basic. Poor patients. Too bad that I wont be able to follow up on them.

We celebrated Jonathan's birthday during TSF meeting.(Tertiary Student Fellowship, FGA). Being with this bunch of students surely tickle my funny bone.

Is this road really coming to an end? What is the new beginning like?

Wrote By: A young aspiring nutritionist.

Melancholy Hopeful

2008-11-21T23:33:00.003+08:00

Title thanks to my kawan baik: Mr Sai Mun Heng. *winks*

October is gone. November is going soon. Before we know it, its the end of year 2008. I've thought about how I would describe year 2008 to be like for me. Too much words. No complaints. I've been blessed beyond measure. I've known what it is to have, and what it is to lost. What it is to do so much, and what it is to do nothing. What it is to be be liked, and what it is to be despised. What it is to be hopeful, and what is it to be totally hopeless. What it is to be full of dreams, and what it is to be clueless. What it is to be wanted, and what it is to be abandoned. What it is to know God, and what it is to realize that I know Him so little.

Have you read through the book of Job? If you haven't, then probably we should. Because if we truly grasp the real meaning of the book, then we will know that God is far beyond our understanding. He is never in a hurry. All we can ever know about Him is only a small percentage of the true Him who sits on the throne of grace in a place called Heaven.

As the road gets very rocky, I find myself walking extra carefully. My heart and mind loaded with too much of emotions and information. I cannot think. I cannot feel. My vision blurred. It is a road I have never walked in. I have to go through this. There is no other way. No turning back. My legs are walking. I'm hearing voices. Many voices. Some of my own, some from people who cared. All pushing me and cheering me. But, thats all. They are just voices. No one can help me. This is my road. My path to walk. My journey to complete.

I shall not close the book chapter yet. The year still has few more days. And...

Whatever happens, I shall remain melancholicly hopeful.

Knowing that though I may be hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair;persecuted but not abandoned;struck down, but not destroyed. 2Cor 4:9.

God is the Everlasting God. Strength will rise for those who wait on the Lord.

I shall. Wait upon the Lord.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Kay-poh for the good reasons...

2008-09-30T20:32:00.015+08:00

Today, I tried to find out what are each of my friend's plan for the night. The intention was just to simply know. And this was the respond I had.

"APA BUAT MALAM INI, KAWAN-KAWANKU?"

nai shoon: No plan. Thinking of going for a long run.

josephine: kawan ni di pg tengah cari rumah utk kawan yg akan bekerja di pg

sarahrinai: Nothing. spending the night at sister's place.

markong: tidur. i separuh mati separuh hidup.

ngeeying: balik kampung.

kokhow: nothing la.

adelynne: tidor.

weiway: tengok TV

Its all nothing special. But, I'm glad because I know that all of them are around, alive and well. Its so fun to be doing this once in a while. Not to say that i'm being kay-poh. But, I'm just being kay-poh for the good reasons.

Oh, and me? I went out with Christine Tan. =)))

Running on a different colour

2008-09-27T10:58:00.008+08:00

The journey has been getting more mundane these days. I have been asking a lot of questions like, why do I choose this road, why am I here, why am I not doing other things which my peers are. A lot of questions but disappointing enough, I could find no answers. Probably I was not clear-headed enough to answer myself and is blinded by the colours I see in other peoples life. The colours which only made my mundane life look more dull and less attractive.

And then I remembered, this wasnt only the road I chose, this is the road God led me to. The road God has paved and prepared for me. A course which is mine to complete. As an athlete who completes his course, I'm running on my own track. It didnt matter how others are running. There are no looking back. Nor looking at others. No matter how colourful others may be, it didnt mean that mine is colourless. Its just a different colour track.

I have learn to surrender. I have learn to trust. God knows what He's doing. He dont need me to tell him where to go and what to do. When I'm weary, He'll carry me through. When I fall down, He'll pick me up. When I'm distracted, He'll hold my hand. He's WITH me. God didnt promise that this road will be easier. Not did He promise that I will be happier. But, if I've chosen to walk another path, I probably wont be experiencing as much grace, as much hope, and as much faith as now.

My road is different from others. Because God has made me different. He knows my hearts desire and He will work out the 'Hows'.

Pictures are from my trip to Kelantan in July with my colleagues. We were there for a 3 day scientific writing course. The best hard-boiled egg ever.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku

2008-09-17T23:25:00.003+08:00

The political scene in Malaysia is really going crazy. I actually cried when I read about how our fellow Malaysians are being detained because they were bold enough to stand up and make a statement. Something that is thought by certain people to be a 'harmful' threat to the nation. Whilst everyone else thinks it as only an opinionated and bold but harmless remark. What I dont understand is that they are our very own MALAYSIANS, not some 'musuh negara' who's going to cause terror or strike up a war or cause another September 11 incident, or even a very own May13th incident. So what are the implications are we trying to make by detaining them? SO that everyone will keep their mouth shut and live as a mindless 'rakyat' and then everyone will be happily ever after? Why educate us first of all if we are not allowed to think and voice out our opinion?

I am not angry. I am sad. But, no matter what the news may be tomorrow, I know my God is in control. He alone knows whos going to be the next PM, or when the petrol price will be reduced, and everything else. I pray for peace and stability in this nation. I pray for patience among the rakyat. I pray for wisdom for those in authority. I pray for love for this nation and her rakyat among the leaders and not for themselves. I pray for humility among the leaders. And most of all, I pray for God's will to be done.

Lets just take some time to remember our national anthem.

Negara-ku, Tanah Tumpahnya Darah-ku,
Rakyat Hidup Bersatu Dan Maju,
Rahmat Bahagia, Tuhan Kurniakan,
Raja Kita Selamat Ber-takhta,
Rahmat Bahagia, Tuhan Kurniakan,
Raja Kita Selamat Ber-takhta.

I love Malaysia.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Roadshow trips and 7 year-olds menace

2008-08-18T23:24:00.006+08:00

I went to Penang last week and it was a very very very fruitful trip. Supposed to be for work but I managed to fit in some time to meet up with my friends. So, it all happened at the right time! I got to stay in a hotel (paid by company) and the hotel is near to all my friends. Easier for them to meet me. I was so H.A.P.P.Y.

People I met up with:

1) Lilian - my ex room-mate. Miss her so much. Haven seen her in one year. We went dinner.

2) Papa Alex - my campcam partner =). Havent seen him since ..... forever?. He brought me on his motorbike and we went around Penang! And supper at Penang Road. It was fun. The last time I was on a bike was also in Penang.

3) I met with .... JOJOEEE!!! We went for a pleasant breakfast before I go to work.

4) I met up with JAMES CHANG - my NC group member. It was a fun night. Instead of juts meeting up 2 person (he already has a gf of 3 yrs), we went meeting friends of friends of friends...Met up with Chris T, Chris K, Jojo, Wee Vian, and 4 Swiss friends (Cloudio, Marchel, Sabine and Jasmine).

5) I met up with... MARK CHOO! - NC friend. Someone whom I seldom meet but always remember. The last time I met up with him was 2 years ago when I went to Melaka for holiday. Hahaha.... And the next time would be.... in the unknown future.

And then, the follwing weekend, I went to JB to do the same thing. Nutrition consultant. I have never seen so many kids running about all over for a long long time. JB people are very fruitful. They have many kids per family. There were a few occasions which I deeply noted.

1) There were more than 5 clients who thought I was malay. And one even 'argued' with me about my blood. He keep insisting that I am mixed blood and not pure Chinese. And a few Chinese clients spoke to me in BM. I felt weird.

2) I have never spoken so much Chinese/Mandarin since my 1st year University. In one minute, I can be heard speaking in all 3 languages - BM, Eng, Mandarin.

3) I spoke non stop for 3 hours until I couldnt hear myself anymore. Literally losing my voice.

Here are some dialogues which I had; (7-year-old-menace)

1) Me: How old are you? (asking kid)

Boy1: I am 7 years old.

Me: How old are you? (asking the brother)

Boy2: I am 7 years old.

Me: Hmm? You sure?

Boy2: Yes.

Me: How old are you? (asking another kid behind them)

Boy3: 7 years old.

Me: Huh? You also 7? Sure or not? (I thought they were pulling my leg)

Boy3: *Nods.

Me: How old are you? (asking the kid beside him)

Boy4: 7 years old.

*Looked at the lady behind them*

Lady: Yes. They are quadruplets. (I was embarrassed and amazed at the same time)

*QUADRUPLETS!!! and all of them are growing healthily. *

2) Me: (Talking to a mother) Your daughter is overweight. Is she eating a lot?

Mother: No, she eats very little. I think because she sleeps a lot.

Me: (disagree) But, is she eating more than she used to?

Mother: I think because stress lah. A lot of homework.

*Wuttt??? She's only 7 YEARS OLD!!! stress pulak.... pengsan saya mendengar.*

3) A grandfather told me: My granddaughter is fat. But, if I dont let her eat, she says 'If you don't let me eat, I will die and let you see!'

*Kids. -_-* Too much TV. She's only 7 years old.*

Parents who are underweight dont mind their children being underweight and same likewise.
I have met irresponsible parents who just cant be bothered with their children's growth. They let their children be. If dont eat, let them be. If eat too much, let them be. HOW CANNNN???
Children cannot make choices on their own. We much TEACH!

Parents who complained that their children dont eat vegetable. But, they themselves dont eat and never taught their children to do so. if parents dont teach, how can children learn? Eating is a learning process.

And, on the last hour of my work, I met this really cute boy who looks like the Shaolin boy frm TV. Hahahha..... SO FUNNY.... I think he is 7 years old too.

Kids. And parents who dont mould them but let the world shape their children. If we dont teach our children, they will learn from elsewhere. And then, who is there to blame if something goes wrong?

All in all, I felt like I was working in a Playland with balloons, children songs, and many kids running about. It was a good program. Children can play and get milk samples. At least I did teach some parents to read growth charts and tell it to their face that their child needs to eat well.

I feel...

2008-07-09T13:40:00.005+08:00

I feel.....

Silly.
STiffled.

Stuck.

I need CHANGEs.

Geeta (my colleague will be leaving the company soon). She's got a better job offer elsewhere. I want to GET OFF tooooooo...... sobs.

Life used to be all Roses....until now. (what is wrong with me!!!???)

I wish I could laugh like this again.....

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Getting lost

2008-07-04T08:19:00.002+08:00

I came across this article.

Yet still I tend to be a guidebook kind of girl in my non-Venice life. I like making plans and keeping my calendar and anticipating events. Life, however, doesn't usually come with a guidebook or guaranteed itinerary—and certainly God isn't confined to the likes of a Frommer's. The Book we have for life's journey is more like a travel narrative than a list of MapQuest directions.

Lately I've been desperate for such directions, for I've been a bit lost in several areas of life. I have an opportunity for a big change at work, I've come to a crossroads in one particular relationship, and I need to make a decision about my involvement in a nonprofit organization. Plus, I'm facing the daunting task of choosing new living room carpet!

As I've wrestled with these decisions, I've wished for some kind of spiritual GPS to take me wherever I'm supposed to go. "If God would just show me what to do, I'd do it!" I whined to a friend recently. She gently reminded me that the only time God offered his plan via writing on the wall didn't turn out so well. King Belshazzar received a sobering pronouncement of God's judgment, not glamorized Cliff's notes of God's will (Daniel 5).

So I'm left feeling uncertain of the next step—and sometimes even of the destination—wondering why God doesn't hand us a minute-by-minute itinerary and send us on our way. But we probably wouldn't learn much trust if, every time we came to a crossroads, a preprogrammed voice told us, "Turn left now." If we always knew precisely where we were going, we wouldn't really be practicing faith.

And God may have some adventures for us off the main drag, through the back alleys. Adventures we'd miss if we stuck to the safe, well-marked paths we
expect and plan on our own. So wherever I am—in Italy or at work or in a
relationship … or at the carpet store—I want to be open to putting aside my
itinerary. After all, God walks this journey with me, whether on the touristy
track or well off the beaten path. And his presence is better than Frommer's any
day.

I feel like getting lost. I feel like abandoning my itenary and put away the map. I wish I didnt know so much about living a 'purposeful life'. I wish I have chosen another road. I wish I didnt know so much about this 'purposeful' road that I'm on.

I want to get lost!

CORFIS and research

2008-06-25T20:30:00.004+08:00

For those who are still wondering what I'm doing for living and for my dream, Jun Ling explained it well. Yes, I help run CORFIS. Its the first in Malaysia. Hence, the never-ending problem-solving. And Jun Ling is my one of the more motivated service dietitians around. Thank GOD!

My research topic is to look at the behaviour change of chronic disease primary care (not hospitalized) patients using the Stage Of Change Model which is supposed to be the first in Malaysia as well. That is if no one plagiarized me before I complete my research. I have been doing this for ONE WHOLE YEAR!

I feel drained.

My perseverance and patience is zero.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME????

Urban Poor

2008-06-25T20:13:00.004+08:00

Does the leaders of our nation want this to happen?

URBAN POOR.

Where the poor become poorer. Where we see people dying of hunger in the streets ? Where people steal just so that they can live another day? Where beggars roam the streets? Where people work 2-3 jobs so that they can have a better life???!!!!

I am demotivated to the max right now.

I have no energy to walk anymore.

I wish I could do something than just staring into ceiling.

Blekz.

Being a Researcher

2008-05-30T00:51:00.003+08:00

I've read a book which says that researcher is the loneliest job ever. You work on something you hope on achieving. Its a long-suffering job. You do the same thing everyday until you get so worked-out and until the end has arrived and your research is done. Most of all, you cant really explain what you are doing and you dont know when it will be done. Most of the time, you're working on your own. No one's really watching. You're only accountable to the supervisor who may or may not have time for you.

But, because research is fun, I'll hang on. There's still much to learn.

Much to say

2008-05-29T23:18:00.007+08:00

Its BB ANNUAL VISIT. Its the time of the year where I get BBB. ("Bed Bugs Bite"). It is so itchy and unbearable and its all over my body. I dont know if its from my bed or my blood. Because those bite-like redness appears all over my body (suddenly) and began to itch. I'm serious. Its an annual event!

Just now during FlyFM "Flirty at 10 thirty", it was a case about this girl who misunderstood that her guy friend was interested in her. But, turns out, the guy wasnt! He was being only being flirty because she was known to be flirtatious. And she thought he was serious! OUCH! Very painful indeed. First of all, she should not start flirting. It all happens because she was known to flirt and the guy just wanna have some fun. Flirting is a game both parties need to play well. Its supposed to be a fling with no strings attached. Its said to be a game of feelings with no feelings attached. wow... yes, only the experts knows how to play. Then said, not many knows how to flirt. It takes skills. SO, IS FLIRT BAD? IS IT????!!!!.

WIKIPEDIA: Flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a sexual and/or romantic interest. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

Oh, how sweet.... I wish that when I'm old and wrinkled, he will still flirt with me.

I guess, the definition is clear. Flirt is not bad. Just do not play with it. And if you do flirt, make sure that its the right person and for the right reasons. It is those selfish flirts that are harmful.

... victim *small prints* LOL!

I kemas my room the other day and in my small little bilik, I have a small little corner wher I put all my books in a rack. And beside the book rack, is my short side table with a lamp on it. It feels so cosy and after a long tired day, it feels so good to be at that corner. Total Solitary and Serendipity.... Yupz, after a year staying here, I finally settle in. And I notice that my small bilik can actually fit all my stuffs. So, it couldnt be all bad. Except that I'm actually staying with only one guy housemate currently.

I'm feeling stupid at the moment actually. I have made much mistakes in my life to learn that I cannot be totally honest all the time. I need to be wise to learn what to say and what not to say. I am too LURUS. I need to learn to think SERONG. All my life, I've not performed well in interviews, and answering questions because i'm too "straight'. I do not know how to think of a better way to answer. There's always a better answer. Oh, how I wish those 'past' could be wiped off and I can start anew. This is the very reason why I did terribly in my proposal presentation lately. Not telling the whole truth and telling a lie is 2 different thing. Many times, I do no need to tell the whole truth! People do not need to know!

I FEEL BUMMED.

Life is even tougher after I graduate.

Crawl, jam, roads and me.

2008-05-10T16:18:00.003+08:00

It will be a restful weekend. It is a Mother's Day weekend. And yes, it is a Seremban weekend!!!

I took 3 hours to come back to Seremban today. Usually, I only took 55 minutes!!! I was getting really cranky in the car already. The scorching heat makes it worst to bear. Plus, I was super sleepy with my semi-closed eyes looking at the car in front of me. It was a 2-hour crawl on the highway in the afternoon!!! I was busy finding things to do. I took out a book to read, listen to radio and sing-along, SMS-ing, eating donuts, chewing gums.... everything I could possibly think of doing. I was losing my sanity. Gosh! Until my mom called and ask me how I was, and I let out my frustration, and she told me that because there was this overturned trailer at the Seremban highway. ( How can a trailer overturn??? Its not suppose to even go fast!) And I thought, wow.... is ther really so many people who goes back home for Mother's Day?

Yesterday, I went to my lecturer's house at Desa Sri Hartamas. Instead of driving straight there, I miss a junction and went on the NKVE, all the way to Sungai Buloh! And it was after office hours, usual jam and crawl. So, instead of only a 30 minutes drive from my office to her house, I took 2 Hours!!!! And all because I needed to see her to get my thesis proposal checked.

GOSH! What is wrong with the roads and me????

But, I do praise God. Because of going all the way to Sungai Buloh, I now know that Damansara is actually next to Selayang. Woooo..... I never knew. :-p

But, that Seremban jam..... lets not think about it.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

May

2008-05-04T21:40:00.004+08:00

Oh Gosh its May.

Bought lots of books from Evangel Bookstore. Got SALES!!!! Altogether I manage to get 8 books for less than rm150. WOw.... Ok. my "Books to be read" list is getting longer and longer. Thanks to my greediness towards books and the many people whom I borrow my books from.

Weiway has gone to US for her working holiday. Miss her sooo much. Josephine is going back to Penang. They never fail to put laughter back into my life. Now, just left me and Ngee Ying here in KL. And its just a matter of time that Ngee Ying will leave as well.

Ching Pei is going back to Holland to be with her husband. SObz... I am both happy and sad. CP has left so much mark in my life. COuntless. I am blessed each time I'm with her. Each time I'm in a dillema, she's the one who helps me make most of my decisions. Tanpa disedari, she became my mentor and my friend.

Jun Ling is engaged. She's the one who knows who I really am. She helps me find back myself when I'm lost. (And I occasionally am due to the many distractions I'm attracted to). And when I'm down or confused, she's the one who reaffirms me and get me back on my feet. She's gonna be married to Sarawak soon.

Each friends that leave brings a part of me with them, and they leave a part of them with me. I guess, thats how life is. As much as I do not want to lose them.

Thank you all who have given me much encouragement during the tough periods of April. May is when all datelines come right in front of me and I'm pushing them. Busy is not the word, Overflowing is. Despite that, I still go out quite a lot. Friends ajak, I go. Relatives ajak, I go. Then, come back and start mourning about the piles of work left undone. If only I could just sit quietly.

Then said, I shall not complain about my work. Thank you Jesus for work to be done. Thank you Jesus for friends who cared. Thank you Jesus that He never left me but mould me into a better person day by day. Thank you Jesus for His patience and lovingkindness everyday. That though I fail, He remains victorious.

Its gonna be almost a year I start working. I'm still coping with life as responsibilites slowly built up around me. Most of the times, I overwelm myself. Until a point, I got to "steal" time so that I could spend some time with God and myself. I guess, thats what kept me alive and on my feet each day.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

'Shine' at work???

2008-04-11T13:40:00.003+08:00

Yes, I have not been blogging for a while. Because I really don't know how to put my life into words. March has been overwelming. April has been bad. Very bad. To start with, my beloved job is not beloved anymore. I'm trying to stay positive but its just so hard. For one, work has turn me into a monster and a super moody creature. The hostility of people and you can not fully trust anyone in the office. Plus the fact that everyone is a hypocrit. Alright, I know, most will say "Welcome to the real working world".

Its all because I'm doing my masters and working at the same time. And people wanna bad-mouthed about it, and then, all of sudden everyone is against you. I'm trying to keep my head and not be too emotionally worked up on it. But, day by day the situation turns worse. And my colleague sitting beside me is pregnant and her mood swings is affecting me big time. I'm having pseudo-pregnancy!!!

Workload bertambah. Colleagues relationship turning sour. Suddenly everyone around me cannot be trusted. I think i'm being overly-negative. I want my 'shine' back. Wher is my 'shine' at work???

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Patience in teaching = scolding and caning?

2008-02-23T14:29:00.011+08:00

Children.

They are the most adorable, lovable, hopeful humans who are also called the Great Pretenders.

Working with children is truly a challenge. Can't love them, can't hate them. Can't be too nice. Can't be too harsh. Sometimes, I don't know if my words and expression is right or wrong. Because what I say or do will be watched by them.

The children I work with are really terribly bad in their studies. They are so bad, that I cannot understand how is it that they can possibly be that bad. One reason I could think of is that they are lazy. Plain lazy. I don't believe in gene of stupidity. Yet, I had to accept now that these children are really .... bad.

Each time I go there, I end up coming home feeling more helpless than before. I cannot blame the children. They are the underpriviledge children. Today, I saw the home matron uncle caning one of the girl because she do not know how to read, even though she has been taught many times. We are all trying our best to help the kids yet they are not learning.

Half way teaching, one of them will break down in tears. When I ask why, they will say that they are thinking of their mother back at home. (It seems that they are always like that and its an excuse to get pity from people)

What is wrong??? God, help us.

Alistair Robin Chong from Tasmania.

CNY with Cynthia Ang.

Baby Nicholas negotiating with the father. If he doesn't like the idea, he hits his own head with his fist. Kids these days......manipulate the adults.

My cousin Sylvia with her husband. This picture significantly captures her feeling at that time. I wish you two always happy. Sylvia and Tony Ang.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

The life God has in mind.

2008-02-17T14:16:00.003+08:00

Psalms 16:11. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

John 10:10: The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, but God came to give us life, and life abundantly.

The life God has in mind for us is an ABUNDANT life.
1. Abundant means beyond, superabundant (in quantity), superior (in quality), excessive, highly more, exceedingly, beyond measure, more than necessary. It simply means that you have more than enough for yourself.

2. Abundance has sense of repetition (echoes) and can be passed on. It will be so overflowing and infectious that it cannot be only contained within yourself.

3. Abundance is uncommon, extraordinary, surpassing.

Abundance has 2 concepts
1. Overflowing -
a) with God's love. (not overflowing with negativity, complaints and moodiness)(Rom 5:5, Jn 7:37

b) with God's purpose. Purposeful people lives a cut above than others. In this world, everyone is trying to sell you their purpose. If you don't have a purpose, you will live someone else's purpose. Only God has your best interest in mind. Be totally sold out to God's purpose.

c) with God's dream. Joel 2:28
- All the most successful and influential people in the world lives with a dream which they believe on. And they are willing to pay for their dream. The world is shape by dreamers. We need to have Godly dreams.

2. Overcoming (I John 2;14)
- Life is a game of who overcomes who. Its whom and what we allow to overcome us. Are we overcomed by depression, financial bondage, unforgiveness?

- To be an overcomer, we must abide in God's word. What are the things we choose to abide in us? Latest moviestar gossips? Gamings? What are we abiding in? Only the Word of God can help us overcome. (Rev2: 7, 11, 17,26, 3:5,12,21)

- God has called us to be more than overcomers, with surpassing victory, overwelming conquest, a victory that is beyond.

- We have to overcome our 3 enemies. (James 3:15)
i) devil - resist ( do not fight or negotiate with the devil. Resist him and he will flee from you)
ii) world - renew (do not resist the world, but be renewed. The world tells us that premarital sex is ok, that slandering people is necessary. We stand not on worldly standards, but on Godly standards.)
iii) flesh - repent (our flesh naturally is not too excited about God. It will always disqualify us for the things of God. And we cannot resist ourself. We cannot renew, because this is who we are, we have to repent.)

Message by Pas. Timothy Loh (Converge Conference, FGA KL, 16 Feb 2008)

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-08T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm back for the new year. With my family, yes. My favourite time of the day, is during dinner. After dinner, my mom and brother will sit there and talk (while trying to finish up the food served on the table) - and commenting on my mom's cooking to the max. hahahhaha.....

Again, its not the food, nor the weather, nor the day. Its the people that made the difference. :-)

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

An Undated Poem to God

2008-02-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

(One of the things I found while cleaning my room today - a self-written Poem!)

Dear God,

There are many roads in front of me,
Let not me to make my destiny,

But that you will show me,

One so bright and clearly,

And most importantly,

One that will honor You always and surely.

I do not want to look back

Thinking of the road not taken,

But to thank you for in this road I walk,

My needs You have not forsaken,

And in due time I shall talk,

Of what wonderful things You have done.

Amen.

During my department (CEU Clinical Epidemiology Unit) team building at Eagle Ranch Resort, Port Dickson. That cake was my boss'es birthday cake. I literally finished it. :-) It was Choc Fudge from Secret Recipe! Yummm..... Hard to resist...

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

semangatz!

2008-01-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

I'm currently looking for tuition jobs. I saw a parent and he actually sort of "interview" me. He told me that he's serious about teaching his son, and so he wanted a sure commitment to both teach and discipline his son. I am impressed by the father. Although he did look a little gruesome, but I learn that giving tuitions should not be taken lightly. Parents entrust their child to me and I have a responsibility to bear. Teaching someone also mean to invest into someone's life. A child's life. Being a teacher is a living testament to the saying "What you sow, you will reap".

I admit that the initial plan to give tuition is for some extra pocket money. But, I guess I really do like teaching. And what would be my greatest achievement is to be able to teach someone to read and write.

Today met up with my thesis supervisor Dr Tila and Dr Winnie. I was initially very stressed preparing for this meeting. I had to present a reference paper, and to determine my data variables. Bad of me for not preparing it earlier on. Doing masters is really not easy. Theres so much to read and all of it would be self-effort. I was initially very blurr about my research study. All these whole 6 months, I have been merely doing the management of the research. (and there's so much to do - never ending job). Today, I finally got a better glimpse of my research topic. It would be "Knowledge and Behaviour Change in Diet and Exercise among Patients in Primary Care.

I found out that Wageningen University, The Netherlands, is one of the top universities in the world in nutrition field. Their research paper is superbly written, almost flawless. It would be really good if I could do my studies there. May God's will be done.

Picture with Bear and Ling (my relative from HK).

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

not enough time.

2008-01-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

Lately, I felt that I do not have enough hours and minutes each day. Both at work and also back from work. During work, its like time passes so fast that there are always unfinished task. Back from work, it will be already 6. Rested a while, watched drama for a while, read a book, and before I know it, I do not have time to really study anymore. And then its time to sleep already.

I NEED MORE TIME!!!!

And I recently committed myself to a new responsibility to teach tuition. Quite fun.

My brother got shortlisted in Nescafe Kickstart programme. His audition could be viewed at www.kiskstart.com.my. I'm really proud of him.

2007-12-24T18:37:00.000+08:00

I feel so silly. I really do. I have forgotten to bring back an important document from KL and I went all the way there this morning and back to Seremban, just to get it. Being wiser and systematic has got to be one of my new year resolutions.

Did my medical check up today. I'm perfectly healthy. Thank you, Lord.

Visited the dentist last week, she said I need to remove 3 teeth. Have been trying to avoid this fate for a long time. I guess, i cant anymore. Poor wisdom tooth. Before this, I have had 4 teeth removed for my bracess, now 3 more. Wow... I would have 7 teeth less than normal human! Cant imagine the day I'll be getting dentures finally. Euwww.......

Had a family gathering (cousin's wedding & xmas dinner), and had a good laugh. Christmas is always a good time to meet the people of our 'past' and think back of the olden days, happy golden days of yore... ;-) I do make it a point to be home for Christmas every year.

As times goes by, and as we all lead different lives, I wonder why we dont connect anymore. My closest friends 10 years ago, and today, we are just "people-I-used-to-know". Is it that I'm not good in keeping relationships? Or that we have moved on so much and its hard to keep up with each other? Well, I guess I'm to be blamed for not making the effort to keep it. Sad hard fact.

Then again, Merry Christmas.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

A day all to myself

2007-12-20T11:57:00.000+08:00

Finally...
A day all to myself!!! woohoo............

Somehow, life is getting harder. Work has equipped me in every way including making me a person of strife, which I dislike. Going to work everyday is like going to war. Battling for rights, not my own. And I have to keep reminding myself that I'm working here for a reason - my Masters!!! And while busy toiling for all other things, I didnt even have time to sit down and write my paper.

I hate strife. God, make me a peacemaker.

What am I doin with my life? I need some system and more discipline!!!

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

updates.

2007-11-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

Ok. It is time to update my blog. Real sorry for those who actually reads my blog and gets disappointed each time by my laziness. :-p

Well, lets see, for a start, last 2 weeks, I met up with my National Conference '05 group members! The KISAPers... Yup, Kisap is a name of a town in Kedah. (I think so) Its been 2 years! and we still look the same. We really havent met since that week at Peacehaven, but when we meet again, we could still identify each other. And can you believe it, the guys wore the same shirt during NC. No wonder they look so familiar.

Now...

then...

Last week, my brother had a fashion show in Taman Titiwangsa. It was a fashion competition for Digi Fuiyoh Street Blast Event. And my brother was chosen as a one of the finalist among the 3000 entries. So proud of him.

Ok. All his designs sexy gilerr. Melinda Looi was the judge. Heheheh....

Work is draining me mentally. This 3 days, will be at a Research Methodology and Biostatistic Workshop. Its like a short course for biostatistics. Like attending lectures all over again from morning till evening. Only difference is the good food served. Hahhaha!

2007-11-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." Einstein.
I wonder what I learnt back in school.

2007-11-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

I feel very lonely. I have been having flu and cough for one week. I miss coming back home to people who care for me. I miss staying with people who care if I'm sick, or have not eaten, or if I didn take my bath, or if I'm home late. Those people are my family. And they are the ones I do not want them to care too much, just because they would.

My friends are away from me. Each are busy with their own lives. I want to feel belong. I want to be loved. I want to be taken care of. I want to stay with people who love me!

I guess I'm just sick. And I miss my parents.

Not knowing chinese...

2007-11-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

Today, my colleague said that its a problem that I do not know how to read chinese. Seriously, to me, I do not think it is a problem. Our background shapes our mentality a lot. How we are being brought up shapes our character. I am proud to be schooled in a national school. I am proud to be growing up speaking and writing in bm and english instead of my mother tongue. What is truly my mother tongue? I am a Malaysian. I speak as Malaysian speaks. Malaysian is my mother tongue. Not knowing chinese language seems to be a big issue to many. But, to me, I think its not something to be ashame of. Its just what I am made of. Its who I am.

Someone posed me a question before. How to create unity in Malaysia? My answer - send all children to national school. And I was serious.

Learning to be an adult

2007-09-22T13:12:00.000+08:00

lately really feel that my life has been stunted. I want to do so many things, but its all yet to be done.

What truly is the meaning of my life? To live wholly for Jesus, or to live purely for myself?

Despite being old enough to think rasionally and to behave maturely, I see my own childishness overwelming both in thoughts and in action. Many times. This process of learning to be an adult is....

God, what period is this you are bringing me through? Am I following closely?....

2007-09-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

Work is really exhausting me mentally. Who dare says that doing research is easy? Its NOT! Working in a million ringgit government research which involves all medical professionals who have a mind of their own and an egoness beyond measure.... is NOT easy!!! And no, I don't go around doing surveys and making phone calls!!!!

I have been working at this project for 2 months now and the study hasn't started yet because there are still so many unsettled issues. I am in the midst of preparing a patient diary which will be used by 500 patients and costing more than $100,000.!!! SCARY.... And each day, I'm learning to make decisions based on logic, practicality and compassion. I feel very challenged working here personally. I am working with so many different people each day and it really takes some effort to keep my head.

Worst, this whole week was the beginning of fasting month, and people get agitated fast. Few of my colleagues at the same department was down with cough, cold, and eye inflammation. Two of my co-colleagues, working together with me, was feverish the whole week and I was trying my best not to mess with them too much. Everyone seems to be issue laden, and there's still so many things to do. And new staffs coming in, didn't help much though. The whole office was busy the whole week. Everyone was busy walking around, and being the kiddy me... I have some occasional freak out sessions.

Being home is truly a great way to end this week.

I think by now everyone is still asking what I am doing now. I don't even know how to explain it myself. Its not a normal thing. I'm living an extraordinary life. I am working full time as a research assistant with the government. At the same time, I'm enrolling myself in a masters program, doing pure research - the same research I'm working at now for the government. Yes, I will be attending occasional classes with no exams. Well, to sum it all up, I do not know whether to say I'm working, or studying. Whichever way seem appropriate.

Weekend is good. I need calm myself down to do, yes, reflection. Today I came back home straight from work bringing nothing back with me, just my handbag. Wanted to test and see how well I can live without my daily personal necessities. And to test how jam the roads will be. It was terrible! Took 1 1/2 hours to reach the tol which normally only take me less than 1/2 hour. :-) But, I have no qualms. The jam was quite beneficial in a way. Good time to calm myself down after a crazy day.

still learning...

2007-09-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

I've always have certain expectations on how God works. Since young, I will pray for a specific thing, and God just work miracles. Yes, I am a believer of a God who is specific about things.

Until of late, I find that I should not treat God as my prayer-answerer (even though He is one). But, He is my Father, the Heavenly King. My Creator and my Lord. God is telling me that He will work outside of my expectations. His ways are higher than my ways. I cannot expect God to work in my ways. but, to trust Him to work His way, however incomprehensible it may be. Just because He is God, and I'm His child.

Just as Elijah was overwelmed by the noises of his own fear of Jezebel. I have been overwelmed by the noises of my anxiousness. I wanted to get things done. I wanted decision to be made, just because I have been waiting for far too long. Just that in the waiting process, I have forgotten the most important thing. I'm supposed to be seeking the Creator meanwhile. Not waiting in vain for some magic to befall me. God is more concern in what I become than what I can do for Him.

God says " Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you".

I am still learning.....

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

2007-08-31T21:56:00.000+08:00

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein.

Mengejar HadirMu

2007-08-19T18:41:00.000+08:00

Today, my brother was listening to his mp3 and being my usual self, I wanted to listen too. And then, came across this malay song - Mengejar HadirMu. When I heard this song, brought back STOMP memories and as I sing along, tears rolled down my cheeks unintentionally.

to my God.

Going after your presence.

Mengejar hadirMu by Giving My Best

Dekat padaMu itu rinduku
Setiap kataku Kau pun menunggu
Tak kusangka kutemukan satu kasih yang abadi
Kini kudatang dan kubawa hidupku

Memandang wajahMu
Mengikuti kebaikanMu
Mengejar hadirMu dalam hidupku

Membawa sembahku
Menyatakan kebesaranMu
Mengejar hadirMu dalam hidupku

Love you Lord.

God and work.

2007-08-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

Its a life I never thought will be. Its a life I never would've imagined. A life of work, work and work. And enjoying the satisfaction of work. But, it got me to stop and think, what am I doing with what God has given me?

I felt like it is so easy to forget God. Just last 2 weeks that He has touched me. Yet now, I felt terrible that I have set him aside. In the midst of work, work and work, where is God? o Lord, I miss you so. What am I doing with the gift of time? I really need to change my daily routine. What would God want me to do with my life?

A meaningful life is a life lived for God. I live for His pleasure. God, am I pleasing you with my life? God has done so much for me. And there will always be a longing for Him in my heart. A longing only He can fill.

God, i miss you. Let me never forget you.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Tetap Setia

2007-07-23T19:33:00.000+08:00

Tetap Setia

Selidiki aku, lihat hatiku,
Apakah ku sungguh mengasihimu, Yesus
Kau yang maha tahu, dan menilai hidupku,
Tak ada yang tersembunyi bagimu.

T'lah kulihat kebaikkanmu
Yang tak pernah habis di hidupku
Ku berjuang sampai akhirnya
Kau dapati aku tetap setia.

weekend hoohaa...

2007-07-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

Saturdays and being home.
It feels really good to be at home. It feels like as if everything stops. all my work stress, all my worries, any decisions... and I can just put it to rest or at least on hold.

Yesterday, I met with a car accident. It was raining heavily and I was driving back to Seremban after work. It was terribly jam. Then, arong 7.45pm, at the highway, a red wira bang into me. such loud momentum, I felt an instant shiver. I was startled and didn't know what to do. I was alone. And it was raining very heavily. The driver was an Indian guy. We rolled down our windows, and I quickly got down his contact number, really hoping that he won't run away. We made a deal to meet at the Seremban Rest Place. I called him twice to make sure he is around. Then, at the proposed stop, we came down to take a look of that car. I remember all the warnings my mom gave for not coming down of my car despite any car injuries but, coupled with fears for my own safety, I was preoccupied with what had happen to my car. My parents are gonna kill me.

The Indian guy wants me to give him my bank account number and he will bank in money for me. I said that I will sms him. Precisely, my car's plat number broke, the iron bar senget'ed, and a bit of the boot was kemek'ed. He roughed that it will cause around RM50. I don't know. After that, I continue with my journey albeit more careful and slower now. But, its truly so scary to be driving at that time.

Why I come back home? I have been expected by my mother to come back every week.

anyhow, I thank God that I am safe and so far, everything has been good. Only minor injuries suffered by my dear Kenari. Phobia of driving in KL overwelmes me, although I know it is unavoidable. I would prefer very much to be the passenger!

Kuala Lumpur scares me. I want to run away from this place as soon as I get the chance to. Give me few years, and I'll be away to a more peaceful place.

Work...

2007-07-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

Work is so stressful. I am suppose to report to 3 bosses!!! I'm a slave to 3 different people and more! Why is that? Difficult to explain how I land into this situation. In the beginning, I was suppose to only report to lecturer boss #1 who let me do my masters research here. When I arrive at this company, my manager boss #2 here assign me to liase between him and another boss #3. How completed can life be? Okay, in the beginning, everything seems fun. Until when the situation turns bad, everyone starts pushing one another and the one who kena teruk is the middle person. Imagine, I'm being pushed by 3 different people!!!! I even get nightmares from my work in my sleep!

Nevertheless, I won't give up. God has led me here and He has a purpose for it. The road may seem uncertain but His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts my thoughts. (isaiah 55:8)

Lord, keep me strong and wise. Let me a good employee, presenting my best everyday. Even though I may get scolding but it will only make me perform better. Help me to be more focused in my work, Lord and to be more organized. Train me up in Thy ways Lord that I may bring glory to You. The road is tough but let me always remember that God, You are always with me. Strengthen me Lord! Give me life in Thy ways.

Iban songs

2007-07-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

Apai Ti Meruan (Bapa yang Kekal)

Kasih ti mulia udah (Kasih yang sempurna telah)
Ku nerima ari nuan (Ku terima dari mu)
Ukai tegal pemanah aku (Bukan kerna kebaikan ku)

Laban semina kasih nuan Tuhan (Hanya oleh kasih karunia mu)
Ti ngerai ka aku (Kau pulihkan aku)
Nyadi ka ku ulih ngagau nuan Apai (Layakkan ku tuk dapat memanggilmu bapa)

Nuan meri ti dipinta ku (Kau beri yang ku pinta)
Maia ku ngiga lalu ku ulih (Saat ku mencari ku mendapatkan)
Ku negtuk pintu nuan lalu nuan muka ia (Ku ketuk pintumu lalu kau buka ia)
Laban nuan apai (Sebab kau bapa ku)
Apai ti meruan (Bapa yang kekal)

Nadai nuan ninggal (Takkan kau biarkan)
Ka aku bejalai kediri aja (Aku melangkah hanya sendirian)
Nuan semampai bisi ka aku (Kau selalu ada bagi ku)
Laban nuan apai (Sebab kau bapaku)
Apai ti meruan (Bapa yang kekal)

KU angkat jari

Ku angkat jari
Penuh enggau puji
Ya ka di tinggi
Aku belagu
lak Penghidup Tuhan bak atiku

Ku enggai nyembah Tuhan bukai
Semina nuan siko aja
Nuan di ka rindu ka ku
Pengasih nuan amat besai
Ngagai nuan aku mai pemeri ati

Bisi Siko Panganku

Bisi siko panganku ti meruan
Nda kala ia ngeleka ka aku (Oh,oh,oh,oh)
Lebuh maya ku tusah
Maya aku kediri
Ia selalu begulai enggau aku

Nama ia Yesus
Nama ia Yesus
Nama Yesus ti merindang ati ku

What a day!

2007-07-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

I have officially shifted to my new place. I felt so dungu yesterday. After a day of 'saturated' work, I went to KTSN to clear up my old stuffs from June's room. And then, tag her along with me to Setapak. Picked up Ah Chew from his place, and went to the furniture shop to get a mattress. And then called up a guy to ask about the parking lot I have to rent separately.

Went up to my room, met my housemate- Ang. Shift in some of my stuffs. Went out for dinner with June and Manfred. After dinner at around 9 something, went to meet the 'parking guy' to discuss about the parking. So expensive and over my budget. But, no choice. SO, I agreed. But, the parking is too far away! My kind housemate says that his friend has a parking which i can use temporary. So, I went to park my car there instead. Found out that 'his friend' was the one I contacted 1st about this room. And, he is my another housemate's boyfriend. Ok, sounds complicated but its actually very simple.

Brought Manfred and June to my room and they 'willingly' help me to clean my room. Manfred dilligently clean the fan. June dilligently help me with the cupboard together with my housemate. By 11pm, tadaa....!!!! My room is nice and cosy! So, I fetch both of them back to their respective homes. By the time I got back to my room, it was 12am! After bath and light packing, I finally lie on my bed at 1.30am.

What a day! I got up at 6.30 for work.

Today's work was terrible!!! Have never felt more intensed than ever. I'm dealing with so many things and I seem so disorganized. My systematic colleague beside me gave me even more pressure.

Work. Research. Still I enjoy it. Why?

Yeah. Am going out to meet Eu Pui now, and its 11 smth. Fuiyoh....!

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Treasures of STOMP - Longhouses

2007-07-08T17:33:00.000+08:00

Its been a wonderful reflection of STOMP. I have written down so many treasures (which I remembered) I collected during the whole 2 weeks of STOMP. SO many of them. And I started to miss each and every one of the STOMP'ers, esp. my team members. Here are those treasures I've collected, in random order,

1) Punggu Dadak, I miss this longhouse the most. It was our last longhouse visit and we only spend one day there. Probably cos I actually spend time with the people there.

I remember the 70 year old nenek 'inik' whom I volunteered to urut her legs.

The hostess aunty 'ibu' whom I talked to. She is sick and will be doing an operation soon at her abdomen. She dunno whats wrong. I think the doctor kept it from her.

And Venisa, the 5 year old girl I played with. She manja with me and play with me. I taught her A-Z, and dance with her. I hugged her, and kiss her. She also kiss me back!

I really wanna go back there, despite the fact that this is the most rundown longhouse we've went. It was a high longhouse with steep 'staircase', and will definitely fall if miss a step.

When we went there, the tuai rumah offered to have our service "kebaktian" in front of his pintu (house). He never attend service before but this time he came and we saw how he begin to open up himself and sing the worship songs. If he do believe in our Lord Jesus Christ, the whole longhouse community will be saved as well. Right now, only 25% of the people there are Christians. And that night, someone actually received Christ!

I love Punggu Dadak. A place of I want to make it a point to go back there some day.

2) There are no electricity in all the longhouses we went. At Punggu Dadak, we actually had our dinner in the darkness (with candles around). Yup, candlelight dinner. Only this time was with unfamiliar dishes and we don't know what we are eating. The toilet has no light too, we do our business in the dark. Only the tuai rumah's pintu has electricity from the generator. The generator only works for a few hours from around 7-11pm. Other times, we live without one. I really learn to appreciate fan more. It was a 24 hour sauna treatment there.

Until a point, Chris started getting frustrated and sang "Where's the wind?!!! Angin O Angin, Di mana engkau pergi?" and Weiway started to have rashes over her body. Painful & itchy.

3) Semawa longhouse was where we worked out the most. It was 30 minutes walk away from the Sg. Pantu. And the times we help at the construction of the church. It was at Semawa where I felt God's presence so real and strong. Ngee Ying (thirsting for God) ran to the incomplete church ahead of us. During worship, the people were singing loudly and excitedly. We had our service at the longhouse hallway (ruai). Males and females segregation were obvious. They treat us with respect, made special effort to prepare food for us. A few women gathered together in a kitchen to cook for us.

4) For the 1st time, I ate monkey. Shall not elaborate on it.

5) 1st time bathing in the river and changing in the public. Bathing in such a communal place, where all activities are done there.

070707- reflection day

2007-07-07T16:11:00.000+08:00

Its 70707. On this such memorable day, I guess I better do smth good to myself. I better BLOG! So, I pulled myself up from the bed, with laziness overwelming my tired soul, and Ting! here I am.

I haven't been really silencing myself to do some reflection. Reflection is important. We need to sit and look back of what has happened, and eventually analyse it and let God speaks to us. Campcam lessons. Life has been up and going, without stopping. I sometimes wish it would stop to let me breathe a while. There always seems to be one thousand and one things to do (which includes blogging).

I have adopted this habit of just sitting down, looking pensive and in deep thoughts but actually I'm not thinking. I just want to stare into space, with a blank mind, stress-free, imagining that everything stops around me. But then, my friends will start asking, "What are you thinking?" Quite difficult to answer them cos I'm actually not really thinking. Ok, I know its a bit scary cos I'm starting to do this quite often and doing it everywhere. I should only do it at a specific time and a specific place (when I'm alone). Alrite, I'll try.

After STOMP, I've been having a hard time gathering my thoughts. Straight after STOMP, something terrible happened which I acted foolishly, causing me to wish STOMP was a dream. I will wake up and hopefully forget about it. And get on with life. Obviously its not, and its suppose to be something good to remember. So, I got going with life with STOMP memories tagging along behind me, waiting to be gathered, filtered, de-tangled.

I feel sorry for myself for the way I've been treating STOMP. Reflection is important. I haven't even reflected on my university years after I ended it. Its like an un-solved issue tagging along in my mind. It is time.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

STOMP (3)

2007-07-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

I'm always amazed by how FES works. They are the funniest people alive and yet behind those goofinest, they never fail to invest into student's lives. I am amazed. because I personally never fail to be blessed by them each time I meet them. They are really like God-sent angels to earth. Tang Swee Kit. She was with me during Campcam, with me during NC, and now, with me during STOMP. Although I'm starting to annoy her a little with my crappiness, still I hope she will continue to sow into my life.

And then comes Chong Eu Pui. I don't know her before this. We got close during STOMP. Although she's in the other group, I still misses her a whole lot. We didn't work together, but its so fun to be around her. She plays a lot and jokes a lot, but I felt her care for me. When I ter-hantuk my kepala in the van, she rub my head for me before i sleep. Then, she piggy-back me (I heard she has a back-ache, hope its not me!) And then she read me bedtime stories (Psalms 23 & Judas's suicide) which gave me both sweet dreams and nightmares. We always try to hug and kiss her, knowing she has a phobia for it. Haha... But, at the end of STOMP, she HUG me!!!! Bingo!!!!!
Lee Chun Chung. I'm speechless. He can really tease people but he's a nice guy. He really jaga people betul-betul one. And can really play. :-)

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Stomp (2)

2007-07-05T20:36:00.000+08:00

The 1st person I remember from STOMP, is my se-bilik, se-kumpulan, se-NC, dan se-suami perempuan Kok WeiWay! She is the most adorable girl I've ever come across. Evrything she do or say is just so cute. And she's so gifted with children. I'm sure that more people will be blessed by her as well. Her contagious laughter can be heard from afar. And even the simplest thing can be made funny by her. (Its truly my joy to be sharing the same husband with her. Muahahah!) So glad to be meeting her again after National Conference 'EnZyme'. Its like we got close, lost contact, and found each other again!

Then, 2nd person will be my Campcam daughter - Ngee Ying. She seem to be cool and calm. Actually she is warm, truthful and funny. When I'm with her, flashes of Campcam came to mind. Because she's my daughter, she kinda knows a lot about my ups and downs in campcam. So, being with her is so comfortable. Because she doesn't mind silence, I can be silent beside her, without worrying about it. But, when it comes to being crazy, she is even crazier than a clown. haha!

Okie... diperkenalkan 'suami' tersayang saya yang dikongsi bersama banyak orang... Richard!!!! He is the leader of my group - 'Kampung Pinang Sebatang'. (God knows how he came up with that name) He is very funny and influential. In the beginning, he dictated the group. But then later on, he improved and made our group more funny and happening. Our group may not have any phenomenal event, but its enough that we treasure one another and feel comfortable with each other. Richard likes to say "Spartan..!.." when he uses his energy to carry sacks of sand and when he pushed the long perahu. And he likes to say his sentences in a way which requires others to finish up his sentence. "Pukul kamu sampai ma......ti!" "Jangan kompleks seperti shopping com.....plex!" Really funny. At the end of STOMP, all of us (esp Weiway) start speaking like him already. Ting!

Christopher Koh. My leher kumpulan. The pretty boy of STOMP. In the beginning, he don't look appealing. But, sooner, we became close friends. After talking to him, realize he's actually a deep and interesting person. So, ya... diperkenalkan...lelaki bujang yang paling eligible di STOMP! I was first impressed by him when he worship lead in the rumah panjang speaking in Iban... softening the hearts of all the makciks. A very truthful person who doesn't have complex motives. Plain and easy. Thats Chris Koh. Gotta go deeper to really know him.

Josephine Teh. The most lenglui of STOMP. One look from her, can die. I thought she looked like a real college bimbo. But, hey behind that pretty face, is a very sweet girl, who loves God and knows what she's doing. She's the 1st person I slap and kiss during STOMP. Got real close to her during training until I don't know why I started crying when we were separating to different groups for missions in Pantu.

Another Sarawakian girl I got real close with is Avlynn Joy. She is real STOMP idol. She cooks delicious food, she sings well, she plays guitar well, she's pretty and she's only 19!!!! Totally recommended to all those who wants the whole package in a girl. Miss her really a lot. Realize that i keep taking picture with so many other ppl, that i forgot to take with her. On the last day, we exchange bracelet. One which I will keep with me the rest of my life. She is a Kenyah Murut. Loves God a whole lot. but, she fights in her sleep. Poor Weiway who got kicked by her 4 times in one night. :-)

STOMP (1)

2007-07-05T13:24:00.000+08:00

LUnch break: Ok. What happened in June? I joined STOMP-Students Together on Mission Partnership from 16th-30th June 2007. It was a memorable 2 weeks. Met with lots of interesting people especially the FES staffs who came (Swee Kit, Chun Chung, Eu Pui, Ray, Peter and Thomas) Real fun. Eu Pui's so goofy and funny but encouraging at the same time. She actually piggy-backed me!!! I've not done it for like since I was 4?

Interesting people in STOMP? 13 of us from SEmenanjung, and 13 from Sarawak. The Sarawak students were awesome. They are all Bumiputras (Iban, Kenyah, Kayan, Ulu, Kelabit) who love GOD! It was really an eye-opener. I have not seen BUmis who is so on fire for GOd, who worships majestically, who dances and plays guitar so wonderfully. And 1st time hearing passionate prayers in BM. CAn really feel their love for God. I am really impressed. And the one thing that captured my heart was seeing all of us having a heart for missions. All of us! ALL of us with a passion for missions in one way or another. Thats why we were there. STOMP. And that was what kept us together too. To be a part of God's work in the field.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Starting a new life

2007-07-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

Life. I can't believe that I'm starting 2nd half of the year already. I can't believe life move on so quickly. Without stopping! A lot has happen. It has been an adventure since I completed my final semester. I didn't have time to stop and digest and filter. Each time I do, I'm speechless. I'll sit in front of my blog page and wondered very long of how to start, then I'll get de-spired (If there's such term) Cheong Jun Ling inspired me!!!!! Met her yesterday and she scolded me for not updating. Ok, Junling, this is for you.

I will start with the most recent one and then going backwards. I have started my new job as a research assistant at the Clinical Research Centre located at the MMA building next to Grand Season hotel. opposite HKL, so, I'm basically, precisely, still at my comfort zone. Only doing a different thing. Mark Ong said "No life lar you!" Ok, I admit that.

Can't believe I got a job so fast. I didn't even apply for it! Its all really God's doing. He is good and He knows best what I want and what I need. Some of my coursemates are stil hunting for job.

I got a place to stay at Setapak alrady!! Its a small room at SRi Pelangi Condo. RM250/ month. I'm yet to discover if its the right choice. I'll shift in this coming Sunday. Will be near my friends and juniors. Well, somewer familiar... new life? Think again.

Sibu

2007-06-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

Reaching Sibu, I began to experience the hospitality my friends have. They are all so good. Although we weren't that close in university, but, I got to know them better through this trip. We really enjoyed ourselves so much and learnt a lot throughout this trip. Judy brought us around the sibu town. And although she ran out of ideas of wer to walk us, it was truly the company that counts.

A view of the field from wer we had our drink. Quite a view. Then, Koh Ging brought us to Taman Jubli. One of the many gardens in Sibu. They are making the city to be a city in the garden. But, it was good effort. There are trees everywer. No fears of suffocating and running out of oxygen anytime.

Four of us in the car.

Later on that night, Kee Ngo purposely came to meet me at the bus stop before I left to Miri.

Cute penguin, and James. Ok la, Junling, he is tall. At that time, I already started to miss Junling a lot. For reasons she will know.....

Bintangor & Sarikei

2007-06-11T11:16:00.000+08:00

Okie. The next stop was Bintangor. I took a 4 hour express boat ride to reach Sarikei, and from there took a 40 minutes bus ride to Bintangor. Its a small town where Max live. And also it was my first visit to a real village wooden house. Good experience!

Playing around with Max's little niece - Mi Ai, who is 11 months old. So cute! And Max's father is a vegetable farmer. So, there were lots and lots of vegetable. Since I have always wanted a vegetable farm, this is really like as if a preview of what I dream of. And when you wake up early in the morning, the mist surrounding the place was AWESOME! beautiful. I miss that place already.

Then, we went to Sarikei and we have Christina to bring us around. She cooked for us and it was a delicious meal with big big prawns at her comfy house. She also took us around to visit the town and to her father's prawn factory. It was really an eye-opener. Thank you Christina!!!!

During the stay at Max's house, I overcame my hatred for cats. For the Kimberly Wong who never like cats EVER, and for the cat to snuggle in my laps, this is truly phenomenal.

Ok. That was the last night there. The following day, we headed to Sibu.

Kuching

2007-06-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hmm. It should be time to start updating on my latest trip to Sarawak and Sabah. Have been trying to delay it because I can't crack up with things to say about it. Being someone not good in details, I guess I should just give myself the credit of it by keeping everything as short as it can be. If one thing, this trip has taught me much about myself besides knowing about the cultural rich land+ beautiful scenery. I am bad at details, but always get jumbled up and side-tracked. Tribute to Junling again (Cing! Cing!) who helped me to sort out most of my messy brain. Ohya, before I get more side-tracked (AGAIN), let me get started with my first destination of the trip, Kuching- The land of cats.

Was there for 4 days with Max and Adelynne - the 2 friends from Campcam 2 years ago I actually still kept in touch! Quite amazing since I'm not so much of a person who makes much effort in keeping in touch. Okie... credit goes to them esp Adelynne. I'm just the participant. Simultaneously, was this year's CampCam. So, it brought back much memories knowing that without CampCam, 3 of us wouldn't have known each other. We came from different background, different lifestyle, different universities, different courses, with only one thing in common. CAMPCAM 2005.

Round Fort of Kuching. Kudos to the sarawak Government who still hasn't demolish this building for some other purposes. And they even beautify that place, yup, as tourist attraction. Well, I'm a tourist!
My first time crossing a river in the city for 50cents per trip to the other side of town which is reachable also by land. It was sunset and the view was awesome. My 1st sunset in the Borneo land. Later did I realize that the sun is indeed more beautiful there. For reasons yet to be discovered.

Taking pictures with the late Datuk Patinggi Ali. It was a hot day, hence the umbrella. Kuching has a few monuments which they are proud of, presenting their history. Good effort, at least the new generation are aware of the important people in their land. And to preserve history! I'm a strong believer that 'History Made Us'.

The national library of Kuching!. WOW... I stood in awe gazing at how highly they look upon the importance of a library till they actually spent so much making it. After moving on to other cities did I realize that a library and a civic centre is a necessity of every state and they take pride in it. Who won't? I will. They even build a staircase made of glass in it and a fountain-jogging track at a lake behind the library. Imagine.... After a hard day studying, strolling at the lakeside, feeling every breeze that blows all ur stress away. Yup. This is officially my favourite place in Kuching! (Cing! Cing!Cing!)

Then, we went to the Sarawak Cultural Village. Where we get immersed in more cultures. Dance+woodcraft+handwork+traditional living.

Greeneries....if there's such word. Went to Santubong beach and found this little paradise.

A forest reserve. One thing about Sarawak. They treasure their nature and preserve them. Its good to see that there are still people who care about such things besides buildings and civilization. Which are totally important for a nation to survive. Okay, now I'm talking like a politician. Ohya, we also went to the Jong's Crocodile Farm. Never been to a zoo for a long long time. Not really a fan of animals... not to say reptiles.. but good experience altogether. Its the company that counts. Okie. Thats all for Kuching. Other cities next.

Tribute to Cheong Jun Ling

2007-06-09T11:16:00.000+08:00

Cheong Jun Ling,
Will never stop being amazed by her,
Her simplicity and naive-ness,
Got me iritated and amazed at the same time.
How can she be so calm?
Then I realize, I still have much to learn,

She never fail to encourage me,
Through times thick or thin,
And then inspires me,
With her courageous decision making,
CJL, I'm so proud of you.

She's my friend.

She's my sister.

She's my partner.

She's ... just her.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

One whole semester.(1)

2007-04-14T14:09:00.000+08:00

Its been one whole semester,
Life full of ups and downs,
Passing me by in a blink of eye,
Careful to cherish,
Wisdom to de-tached,
Lessons learnt,
Feelings felt,
Imbedded in my heart.
Now and always.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Ol' Picture

2006-11-11T10:58:00.000+08:00

Lilian and me during our Malacca trip.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

its the 2nd half of the year!!!

2006-07-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

Time flies.

Its the 2nd half of the year already. Don't like holidays, makes me more lazy than I should be. But, right now, just want to enjoy these last days of holidays.

Went out with my 'long-time-didnt-keep-in-touch-friend'. I felt so out of place. First, probably cos I know nuts about them. Also my fault cos didnt keep in touch and get updated on them. Second, I feel like I totally don't click anymore! Well, its normal when I don't meet them for many months and suddenly meet again. This makes me think "Have I changed? or Have they changed?"

I'm excited going back to uni. Can't wait to see all the juniors and what I can do for them. I guess, right now this is my main focus.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Melaka trip

2006-06-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

Went to Melaka with my friends. Our first destination was A Famosa resort. How I got there?
I took an hour air-con'ed bus to Tampin for rm3.50. And a 10 minutes no-air con taxi from Tampin to A Famosa for rm15! How ridiculous.

It was a rm88 package which includes a one-night stay in a bungalow with pool, breakfast, animal safari, and cowboy station. There were 8 of us, all girls. And somehow, we felt like as if we were the only group of girls in the whole resort. Some tourist from Arab actually took our picture from far. As if we were models....

And then, there was a bird show, where I got chosen to be a volunteer audience. Never was and ever will be a bird fan.

And holding hands with Lisa, the monkey breed.

The next day, we went to Melaka town. Thank God for Mark, the life saver.... and tourguide, who brought us around. Kesian him, have to teman 8 girls go shopping...and be our photographer too. God Bless you, Mark! tons...

Not to shock all of you all, but, we actually took more than 500 pictures in this 2 day trip. call us crazy. Well, after all, we are girls with cameras.....

Good day!

Goodbye Nestle.

2006-06-25T13:50:00.000+08:00

Training is over. 7 weeks. Time really flies. I have learnt so much during my stay in Nestle. Being in a marketing unit, I went to the most places. Places I couldn't have gone if I weren't training in Nestle. For example, Nestle factory. Not anybody can go into the factory, only those who have things to do there. Even those permanent staffs have never been to the factory. I have also been to tv3 cafetaria. :-)

Through this experience, I have learnt that I'm still very shallow minded. The people I work with in Nestle are very well knowledged and critically minded. And being focused, they work very hard. Overall, I'm grateful that I'm there. I even cooked and baked cookies for TV commercial. I compared products in the market. I researched on topics I never even thought of if I weren't there.

I baked 6 types of cookies all on my own!!!! summor its for TV commercial. Pressurez......I'm becomiing an expert on it. Don't worry, you all can try it during coming CNY. Hahaha!!!!

Although I constantly have been thinking what am I doing there and comparing myself with my coursemates who are attached to a more "nutrition" place. I will be thinking about what God want me to do. And I'll be thinking where I want to work next time. So many thousand things will run through my mind.

I even started thinking about my thesis topic. I don't want to be doing something I'm not interested in. I want to be living my dream! But, I always give up halfway because then I will begin to see lots of limitations in my dream. Ah. Limitations. How I wish I'm one who can do anything without any limitations. But, the truth is I should strife for it. No one can stop me from doing what I want (of cos, only God himself). I just have to put the pieces of my dream together and make up the whole picture. :-)

I went to the launching event of KitKat Cappucino at Carrefour Midvalley. There, I met the press and had a rough idea of they normally work. For those who have not tried this KitKat cappucino, please do. Its very nice, and its LImITed EDitiON!!! Go grab some ,ya. [No, I'm no longer working for Nestle. :-)]

I thank God for everything. I even got a good place to stay. With swimming pool and gym and pasar malam every Tuesday. Transportation is not a problem too. There are no regrets on anything during these 7 weeks.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

City life. Or not.

2006-05-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today I overheard my collegues chit-chatting.

" I need to go home. Want to spend quality time with my kids"
"Even if I go home, my kids also not around. So hard to see them even
though live in the same house. My son even asked me to e-mail him. "
Well, this is city life. Parents not being able to meet their own children who live in the same house. As faithful as they are, working late almost everyday, and the son will be out after an early dinner without the mom, coming home late after mom sleeps. When mom gets up for work, son not up yet.
Truly, we can have time for so many things, and yet lost the most crucial thing.
City life. Is it worth living?

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Loving Nestle.

2006-05-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

I'm loving Nestle. I think after this, I'm really gonna be setia to Nestle. I think I'm learning so much here, its overwelming! Instead of just working for them (which I rarely do), I'm actually given the opportunity to learn about them. And these people really take the time and effort to teach me. They are so good!!!

I'm really on training! So far, I've learnt so much about Nestle, and the way they work, and knowing that its a big company, there's just so much to learn. With the many many departments and levels of authority. And especially the many many products of Nestle. (I'm still trying to juggle all the products in my mind. Not counting the competitor's products I have to also know.)

Today, I had a briefing about yoghurts, and then, visited the factory and watch them actually produce our yoghurts!!! And then, went for a market visit with a salesman. The truth is, being in Nestle lets me learn so many things. I'm not just learning about nutrition, but also about marketing, advertising, sales, and many many more.

Thank you Jesus for sending me here. Its truly the best place anyone would want to be at. Thank you Nestle staff!

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Training in Nestle

2006-05-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

Nestle. A giant food company. Milo. Nescafe. Maggi. Nestum. And other products, amounting to a few thousand products in the whole wide world. What does a nutritionist do there?

On the 1st day, I was given 3 task. !st: I have to find out about trans fatty acids in the market. 2nd: I have to find out the sucrose content in growing up milk. 3rd: Analyze the survey forms and know what profesionals think about Nestle.

I can't help but compare with what my other coursemates are doing in their training places. All very interesting stuffs. Analyze nutrient content of food for future references. Measure athletes and follow them to SUKMA. Learn to prepare food for hospital patients. Preparing nutrition talks.

And to tell the truth. I'm rather envious. I haven't been speaking much these days. Only sitting at my workstation and work at my task. So unlike me. Then, I realize, that what I'm doing, and the type of exposure I would be getting, is totally different from the others. All are special in their own way.

Everyone in Nestle is profesionals. They are always busy with events and projects. Then, I realize, that Nestle is not only concern about their products. But, also about the public health. Nestle tries to approach the public to educate them about basic nutrition. Tell me, who doesn't drink Milo? All does! Nutrition is not only for the profesionals, but for everyone as well. Gosh, did I just promote Nestle?

For once, I'm not looking forward to go back home when I'm there. Last time, for all my temp jobs, i'm always waiting for time to past. Here, I have total freedom of my time. As long as my work is done. And normally, just want to stay longer. Everyone around me working so hard. Its a motivation of some sort. At 5pm, its just me leaving the company. These nestle staff are insane. But, thats what made Nestle so special,ya. Ppl working hard and happy.

So, what does a nutritionist do? I'm yet to find out. But, so far, I like what I'm doing. Analyzing products in the market and how to improve the public's health.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Funny God

2006-04-29T12:55:00.000+08:00

I give up. I should not ask too much. God will just do what He wants to do.

I'm going back to NESTLE!!!!!

At first, I wasn't really happy being tossed around like that. I initially prepared my heart to just settle in MSN. But, I'm back at Nestle. My lecturer was like "Oh, they decided to take u"

Oh, ok. Since they decided to take me, I'll just go. God is so funny. He knew what would happen, but just like to twist the straight road a little bit so we'll learn to trust Him more. Funny.

But, problems are there so we will have more reasons to praise our loving Father. We just got to wait and see.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

industrial training in MSN, bukit jalil

2006-04-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

sobsob.

I won't be doing my practical training in Nestle anymore. I'll be doing it in MSN, Bukit Jalil.

I don't know if this is good news or not. Somehow, I just feel so sad. Although this might be a better place. I haven't had the guts to tell my parents yet. They were anticipating to see me in Nestle. But now... I'm sure they will be even more disappointed.

Since last semester, I thought I'll be ensured a place in Nestle. Every year, they'll take in one UKM student. Don't know what happened this time.

Well, maybe MSN is really God's will for me. Before this, God was quiet whenever I pray about Nestle. Or maybe because I didn't listen properly. At least now, I won't be alone. I'll be there with my 2 other coursemates. And we'll be at the sports cafetaria, and organizing nutrition talks to the workers there. Guess, it could be a little more interesting than to just investigating Nestle products for 7 weeks. :-)

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

My name acronym

2006-04-11T16:26:00.000+08:00

I found this out about myself. Hehe...kinda true. can't believe my name describe me in so many ways. :-)

Kimwong:

K Kinky
I Influential
M Mysterious
W Witty
O Overwhelming
N Noisy
G Glitzy

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

the gospel of Judas

2006-04-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

When I saw this 'latest issue' about the betrayal of Judas, all I think of was "How blasphemious!"
Satan strikes again. This never-ending issues about Jesus, and what He has done, still being the talk of the world. Thanks to Satan. The controversy about Dan Brown's 'fictional' book not over, out came the gospel of Judas. In Dan Brown's, Jesus was said to have a 'secret' relationship with Mary Magdelene, and even having a child. Now, in gospel of Judas, Jesus was said to treasure Judas more than anyone else. And needs Judas to free Him from His mortal body. And even laughed sarcastically when His diciples started praying.

Gospel of Judas. Where on earth does it even come from? Bible clearly written that Judas betrayed Jesus clearly for the love of money. And here, Judas was said to be the greatest diciple among all. Jesus himself didn't even said who was the greatest.

"Whoever humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven" Matt 18:24

But then again, people will always argue about the genuinity of the Bible. Where does it come from? Is it really God's word. Its merely the chosen books and letters of history. Who chose it? Why not choose the rest?

Well, first of all, the books chosen are letters written by well known established prophets of God (old T) , and true witnesses to God's work. Some books which are rejected to be part of the bible is because it is not proven to be true, and the person who wrote it is not 'trustworthy' enough.

Well, then again, this issue will never end even until Jesus's return. And also because of this, more people are concern about the bible, and because of doubts, read the bible. Whether the bible is true or not, it all depends on the personal effect it has on the reader. There can never be enough reasons to prove the word of God, but to experience it personally.

So, whatever happens. Whether it be for the good, or bad, as long as God's name be glorified for ever and ever.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

Study hard!

2006-04-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

I keep telling myself. I must study hard. I must study hard!
Good. I finished one set of notes. And here I am, kononnya wants to relax a bit. Aih, why can't I be more disciplined? If only I'm more organized, and strict to myself, I could have achieved even more. I could have been better!

As I was studying, realize that all my past temp jobs really paid off. I was a waitress in a hotel once. And, now that I'm learning about kitchen stuffs, I know what I'm learning. I worked in a an accounts dept of a factory once. And I'm learning about managing employees. Wow... Thank you Jesus. I remembered praying that whatever I worked, let it be of use to me. At that time, I certainly didn't see it. but now, its all being made clear.

But, I'm wondering what my future will be like. I still don't know what to do after I graduate. I don't know if I should be serving the government or not. There's so many pros and cons. And there's also contradiction of interest. I really don't know. Maybe its not time to think yet. God will reveal it to me when His time comes.

I really need to study hard to improve my grades.

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

sundays...

2006-04-09T15:33:00.000+08:00

I'm so glad to be in my church today. Tablenacle of worship. I haven't been back for 2 weeks. And suddenly, today's sermont seems so short (actually its quite long), I miss my pastor's preaching. Wow... haven't heard a good sermont for so long. Really, this is where I truly belong. If I serve, I will serve in my own church. I will marry in my own church too. I love my church!
The feeling today was like, coming back to my own mould.

And that day, my lecturer called me to tell me that I might not be able to do my practical training in Nestle. she asked me to be prepared. AT that time, my heart was so broken. I prepared for it long time ago, and suddenly now, cannot...? I was really disappointed. But then , she told me that I could go to MSN (majlis sukan negara) instead. That's where all our sportsman and sportswoman go for training, and nutritionist are there to plan their diet according to their energy expenditure. There is even a special cafetaria catered for them. So, going there might not be too bad. But, still, its not confirmed yet. My lecturer will call the nutritionist in nestle next week.

Well, actually we are already very blessed. Other universities, students have to get their own training places and settle everything themselves. But, us, well spoon-fed.

Okay..going back to study. Its suppose to be my study week. And I have 8 papers to sit for. And my notes, tak habis-habis baca laa......

"Rejoice in the Lord. Again I say, REJOICE!" Phil 4:4

what's wrong in being single?

2006-04-09T14:16:00.000+08:00

I seriously don't know what's wrong in being single!

I went to a family gathering yesterday, and my aunt ask me "Why so busy? You are not pak-to'ing also." And to make things worse, she's NOT the first person saying this. My coursemate used to say that to me once.

I was strucked! angry! shocked! whatever you call it. Why is it that people can think that pak-to'ing is THE thing? Why can't I be busy with other things in life? GOSH! I seriously don't find anything wrong with being single. But, this people made it sound like its the only thing you can ever think of in life. And its the only thing that should get your brain working like mad.

I am a very involved person. I get busy and worried with a lot of things (kolej activities, CF, studies, projects,....) And I don't know why people just don't understand what I'm going through. Its so obvious that I'm alive and on-the-go. But, to them, I'm just not complete without a partner. ARGH!!! I'm only 22!!!

I wonder what happens when I'm 32 or 42 for that matter if I'm still single, available, and happy! Why can't people believe that I'm single and happy?! They have to rub it in that I'm desperate and wanting.

And some guys are just so typical and pathetic. I don't know if they think that I'm interested in them, cause they start avoiding me after awhile. I'm NOT!!! Alright, sometimes, I tend to be extra nice to some people. But, that's because I treat them as a brother, and me, as a brother's keeper. I don't lead people on. The same situation always happen. Guys around me will either stay away from me, or get close to me. And I normally shut off those who gets too close. That's because I don't want to lead them on, and I only treat them as a friend!

This brings me to another conclusion. So, I only get friendly with girls, and guys who are younger than me. I think I better stop being nice to guys. Its either they can't accept it, or I'm over the line.

Bottom line is, I'm not single and desperate! I know my God will provide and now is not the time. Why can't people get it? And stop pestering me and making me desperate. I can, am and will live life to the fullest regardless being single or attached!!!

Gosh. I hate that word- "desperate."

Missing church

2006-04-07T17:49:00.000+08:00

Oh, I'm back. Actually haven't been blogging for quite some time. Can't get access to it. and also too bz to actually sit down to jot down my thoughts or whatsoever.

So many things has happen recently which just made me grow literary. My purse got stolen, my group member's betayal, and people complaining about me. Things just happen and its always my own fault. I wonder whether I got so careless only lately or I have always been like that. I think the latter is true. And all of it, I just have to learn from it.

Finals is coming. Which means that I'm finishing my 2nd year. Wow...time flies. Soon, it'll be my final year and I'll be out into the working world. Can't really believe that I'm already 22. So many things to grasp. So many memories. I miss my crazy days. I haven't been really crazy for quite some time. I hate being serious. Just have to.

My brother annoys me. I hope I don't have to say this. But, well, which brother doesn't. Its an annoying relationship. And just have to accept it. Its love and hate till the day we die.

I just don't feel like growing up. So many things has change since the last time I remember them. My friends have changed. My grandmother getting older. I'm losing the family touch. Church. Speechless. I miss church. Its so true when they say that if you're not a regular church goer, your spiritual life ain't getting any better. Well, I am a regular church goer. I go to church everyweek, just, a different one. Can't avoid. I'll be in KL most of the time, and I just didn't settle myself in one. Because to me, TOW is and will be my only "church".

I guess, that mindset have to change. I love TOW (tablenacle of Worship). Its where I got saved, where I grew spiritually, where I was trained to be a soldier of Jesus Christ. But just, I don't think I'll always be in Seremban. And I do want to come back everyweek. Just that, for now, coming back weekly seems like a burden. And I only come back during the weekends. Weekend church goer ain't going anywhere too. I feel more like a visitor in my own church! Gosh...what's happening?

Should I say that my uni life is destroying my spiritual life and drifting me apart from God? No. I grew. Just that I used to grow together with the church. Now, I'm growing alone. I found out more about myself. And learning to cope with all types of situations, inserting God everywhere I can. Is that good enough? Is loving God deep down inside enough? I don't think so.

If I love Him, I will obey Him. Coming back everyweek is actually an overdued problem. I don't meddle in it anymore. I just have to grow wherever God puts me. I can't be living in the past. The past build me. Now, I just have to move forward and make every opportunity to glorify Him everywhere. Not just in my church. But, everywhere. My uni, my campus, my peers, my commitments, and soon, my career.

I just want to know Him more. And I miss church. I miss being a part of church.

Hard to be good.

2006-01-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

I think I should just focus on one blog place. Hehe.... So, I guess, I'll leave this blog for some time. For those who actually reads my blog, I shall be at my xanga blog.

Sometimes, just don't know how to be a good person. Sometimes, just have to say no. The story goes like this, there'll be a course nite at my uni. And, as a class rep, I'm most expected to be present. But, coincidently, CF camp is held. Obviously, I'll choose the CF camp over some course nite. But, my "buddy", a 3rd year student, claims that he wont make it cos I'm not going. Well, his presence is also expected cos he is the 3rd year class rep. And all of sudden, I feel like a real culprit. And I've let him down for my "grandbuddy"'s house warming too cos I've to come back home.

Well, I really don't know what to do now. Why am I suddenly so important to him? Why do I even care to please him anyway??? Hah???

A trip to HK

2005-12-18T21:06:00.000+08:00

I'll be leaving soon... in 12 hours time, I shall be on the plane. Hong Kong, my holiday destination. Well, as I always say, its truly God's blessing for me to be able to go there.

Meanwhile, I shall use this time to plan how to start my new semester. I'm starting to be afraid. Afraid of not being able to do what I want, afraid of losing my purpose in doing it. God has been showing me His will and His purpose so clearly to me for the past few weeks. I'm starting to ask if this is a good thing or not. I know I shouldn't question God, but this is not something I'm familiar with.

I feel so new in this relationship even though I've known Him for quite some time. I can't help but be extra careful in every decision I'm making. I doubt if I'm following Him close enough. I doubt if I would be able to do enough...

I don't know where I am spiritually. I just hope that I'm still following behind...

Why?

2005-12-18T17:56:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel like its just God and me in this world?
Why do I feel so close to Him and yet so far?
Why do I feel righteous when I'm actually sinful?
Why do I feel afraid having Him with me?
Why do I feel confused when I actually know the truth?
Why do I feel cheated when I'm so loved?
Why do I feel like I don't know Him when I've been with Him through thick and thin?
Why do I feel angry knowing He is God?
WHY.

I look at the heavens,
Angels singing praises,
The moon and the stars,
Shining ever so brightly,
proclaiming His greatness.
Who am I, that I should question HIm?
Who am I?
Just a mere human,
Created by HIm,
and loved by Him.

lost friendship?

2005-12-12T15:46:00.000+08:00

Dono why some ppl can be so different from who they were last time. I had a very good friend. Really very good. We pray together and in times of trouble, we can sense each other's need. Its like, our relationship is really bonded by God. Even though we were very close, but, there were no rumors or whatsoever in church, because everyone knows our bond. (You know, normally when you are seen to be always with a guy, there tend to be rumors)

And now, its like, he's so busy with his work and barely have time for himself. I feel like I don understand him anymore. And he's always so busy with his life, don't know if he even have time for God. (can't judge) But, its just so sad. And I miss spending time with him so much! Whenever I was down, after speaking to him, its like, my whole world changes. He's really a good friend. Now, all we say to one another is apologizing for not spending time with one another. How sad can a friendship turn out to be?

He is one person who understands me the most. Sometimes, when I'm most unsure of myself, he'll clarify everything for me. And he knows me so well, I can never find another one like him.

And the beautiful thing is, our relationship is so pure, we have no romantic feelings... just pure friendship. Oh, I miss him so much!!!

2005-12-12T12:52:00.000+08:00

I love my brother... just dono why, can't stand his guts and end up always quarrelling with him... AH!!!!! can't stand him!!!

A cost to pay...

2005-12-11T14:12:00.000+08:00

Being a disciple for Jesus isn't easy. I've learnt to really count the cost. I've always said that I'll do anything for Jesus. But, how true is that? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm giving up on Him. But now, I shiver at this verse;

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23)

Denying myself means to put God first in everything I do.

Those who know me will think that I'm cheerful and worryless. Oh yea, I wish I am too. But, the truth is I'm a very normal human who worries too much. Knowing that worry itself is a sin. But, God worked a miracle and healing in my life. I can't remember the last time I worry about things anymore. Thank you Jesus, I know I can always trust you no matter what.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple.And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:25-27)

Yes, those words come from Jesus himself. No wonder Jesus asked us to count the cost before we make any decision. This is the cost. Our God is loving, but He is also strict. He will not compromise sin. He is a jealous God. He will not accept our second best.

When we serve God, there are sacrifices to make. We must serve God not with our own ways but with His ways. Indeed, following him is not easy.

But, I'll rather be dead than to live without Him in my life.

12 years later.....

2005-12-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

Went out with my primary school friends and realize how much we've actually grown.

Well, I still look the same though,agree???

Thats me (Kimberly Wong), Boon Lee ( now, in USM kkj) and Valerie ( went to Australia but goin to start work in S'pore)

Beginning of a New Chapter:

2005-12-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

I took out my diary and read it through yesterday. Was amazed at how I went through all those moments in life. My favourite aunt passed away, my mom and aunt's heated argument at home, my brother's childish acts, my friend's repeated stabs, ...etc... Thank God I'm still alive today.

I've really changed and grown a lot compare to who I was a year ago. Thanks to CampCam and also NC. It may not be very significant changes, but I know very well, that indeed I'm more mature than who I used to be. I used to look down on myself. Blaming myself for every little mistakes and never seem to get over it.

Well, its still in me though but, the difference is I know my God loves me so much, He'll never stop working in me, moulding me to be who He wants me to be. I love HIm so much. So much. Though I've not seen HIm, I love Him completely.

I pray that He be patient with me. Sometimes, I may disobey Him or even neglect HIm a little, but I pray that He'll guide me back to HImself.

As I begin a new chapter in my life. I pray that my love for HIm will not be just words. But, action as well. I will serve Him and obey HIm all my life.

National Conference "en.Zyme" 05

2005-12-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

Its a national movement. Forming christian leaders in Malaysia. Well, that's just the beginning.

As for me, I'm truly blessed by it. One whole week of a spiritual journey of ups and downs. Discovering more of myself and also His plans for me. Wow.... I still stand in awe at Him. He's done it once again.

Attended by 450 delegates and 50 staffs, cannot truly imagine how we packed together,eh?
Our worships were tremendous, even though made up of different backgrounds and denominations, we worship the only one true God.

There were 50 small groups each were named after small towns in Malaysia. My group- Kisap.
Kisap is a small island situated on the north of Kedah. Located in the east coast of Langkawi, it is so named because of the relatively narrow entrance to the mangrove forest from the ocean. My group members: made up of different types of people. There are quiet ones, and noisy ones. There are malay speaking, and chinese speaking. Fair skin, dark skin. But, all of us can really enjoy ourselves.

Its a time where campus groups get together to pray and discuss about ourselves. Hails from UKM KL campus, 15 ppl, of course we are close. Also not forgetting those from HUKM and USM KK campus. We are all from the health faculty.

Amazed by HIm again and again....

2005-05-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

I can never stop being amazed by Him. Every single day, He shows me wonders after wonders. People may think I'm being naive. But, I know that if its not because of Him, I won't be who i am today. Totally amazed by His works.